Krang’s body come to life.

Chesney Security: I’m sorry, you can’t come back here.

Bill Cosby: [reads headline]
Bill Cosby: [curses Gawker clickbait]

$1,500 x 2 a month = $3K. $3K x 6 months a year playing = $18K.

DO NOT let this door hit you in the ass on the way out

I mean, a consummation scene with Ramsay and Sansa was always going to happen if they got married. Did people expect it to be tender and loving?

This is very Slate-y.

so... Maradona?

Deadspin’s Descriptions of Rob Gronkowski, ranked:

Jon Stewart is probably better at sports than you. Hell, homey was a D-1 college soccer player. You play any D-1 scholarship ball in any sport? He’s smarter than you, more athletic than you and most assuredly more financially comfortable than you. Maybe you should just stfu.

Yeah, no need to be Russian.

You’re definitely right, however the Cavs missed the whole accident vs intentionally spiking your g/f .

Sorry your favorite team got caught cheating again.

They’re joking that they’re going to go to inflate them because they’re fed up with Brady bitching at them for not deflating them enough. It’s pretty clear.

How the hell are those text messages not proof?

Sorry about your favorite football team.

In particular, we have concluded that it is more probable than not that Jim McNally (the Officials Locker Room attendant for the Patriots) and John Jastremski (an equipment assistant for the Patriots) participated in a deliberate effort to release air from Patriots game balls after the balls were examined by the…

THIS IS AN EXCELLENT TAKE. CLEARLY NO ONE ANY GOOD HAS BEEN ON THE SHOW FOR FIFTEEN YEARS! JOE PISCOPO 4 EVA!!!!

Professional sports ≠ legal system.

What these rankings don’t tell you is that Lions fans only use the words “send,” “water,” “food,” “police,” and “help.”