I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: police union spokesmen are the worst people in America.

A muffin?!? Those greedy bastards! I bet they tried to sell you true coat too.

Textile and Vegan are the interior packages? I just rolled my eyes so hard it caused tectonic plate movement in the south Pacific.

What salesman worth their name does not try and upsell?

Plus, it has the word cum in it.

I’d say “Keep your chin up, Joe” but that may be impossible

Even though he shouldn’t have been suspended for his Beltre comments, I’m fine with West getting 3 days as kind of a Lifetime Achievement Award for longterm umping douchebaggery.

Let me google that for you.

The most remarkable part of this article is that a non-HD option is still a thing.

Fuck this guy.

And fuck this dumbass, Guy-Fieri-recipe fight.

Pfft. As a baseball purist, I find the Sacrifice Bunt Derby far more entertaining.

That’s 2017 for you. You assume the weirdest news you’re going to get out of Brazilian soccer is a convicted murderer being signed to a new contract, and then next thing you know you get some guy trying to test out Ehrlich’s maximum optimal jerk-off theories from Silicon Valley in the locker room shower.

Shortly after the video made its way onto the internet last Friday, the club confirmed that all four players had been released

I thought you couldn’t use your hands in soccer?

Colón is so fat that it literally took Brothers to fill his spot. 

Time to move on to Phase II of his career: horse procurer.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Let’s see a line item of their expenses. How many hundreds of friends and family of the staff and how many boosters went for free? How many expenses get tacked on that would normally be paid for by the school?

The Bernie Step would have still been there.

It’s tough to get anyone in Washington to admit to obstruction these days.

This still originates from the same old question: How did anyone ever think Tropicana Field was an acceptable place to play baseball?