“Could you just scooch over a little bit”

He’s probably got a prop bet somewhere on the whether or not he can make the tee time and is paying thousands of Native Americans to do their best rain dance as we speak.

I heard that the Secret Service allowed Mueller into the Oval Office one night when no one was around, and he rubbed his junk all over everytrhing.

I heard Barron Trump calls Robert Mueller “Papa Bob.” People are saying this.

It’s 2017, Trump is president and we’ve got people calling other people “slaves” in a Starbucks in the middle of downtown Chicago. You fucking BETTER ask someone for their political leanings. Even if YOU get along with them, hanging out with them will eventually mean you’re going to end up in a fight in a bar.

There’s a major difference, in my opinion, from dating someone with different political beliefs (because most of us fall on a spectrum of the Overton window, even within our respective sides of allegiance) and dating someone who is willing to overlook and defend the sheer deceptiveness and pure bumblefuckery of this…

Nice to see their DIS (Drone Intercept String) technology appears to be working.

“When I was looking at earth from the window of the International Space Station (where I was invited by the king of earth), I could see the sun glinting off the top of Robert Trent Jr.’s balding head like golden beacon. I could also see his mom, because she’s so big that when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND…

Boy, Player really refuted the notion that he is “kind of a showboater” with this full page statement (in which he mentions meeting Mandela, being at the Olympics, being invited to the US Open to celebrate his grand slammiversary, etc etc)..

He’s also my favorite color.

My guess is because there’s two of them and one of him? Maybe don’t want the other being jealous is all I can think of.

singing God Bless America every game because a couple buildings fell down 16 years ago, then wondering why baseball games last so long these days

If you ever find yourself near Colorado Springs and want to climb a lot of stairs, check out the Manitou Incline; ~2000 vertical feet in under a mile.

To be fair, those are both the exact same article.

You people are ridiculous...do you really expect umpires to watch every play?

I can’t believe they let him talk to successful people.

Video quality is trash, but that’s not important.

DC NBC anchor Jim Vance laughing uproariously at a wobbly model cracks me up every time.

This is the GOAT.

LORCHCAST: