At least he died doing what he loved, inconveniencing motorists.

This is how Wisconsin keeps all it’s dairy secrets.

Or a bunch of Ks if Tebow is up to bat.

With Joe Paterno dead burning in Hell for the rest of Eternity for allowing numerous children to be sexually abused so he could win some fucking FOOBAWL games

Correct. Which means he’s probably not referring to McQueary but instead to rape victims who received some money for being raped but now are, apparently, 7-figure trust fund babies.

Baylor: “Boy, we’re finally overtaking Penn State for most odious institutional breakdown! Our ‘callousness toward victims’ ratings are unprecedented!”

You should’ve used the iPhone calculator. Then you’d only be 6.5 lights.

I feel the same. I’m a gynecologist.

TIL; Forced Sodomy is encourage BEFORE applying to Baylor.

“...including coke bottles, deodorant bottles, steel pipes, baseball bats and broom sticks.”

Because the custom NBA jersey factory would then run out of the following letters for the rest of the jerseys:

D-A-R-R-E-N W-I-L-S-O-N

Same reason Toledo is usually left out

This article feels like Magary is rubbing off on a HamNo. A few more CAPITALIZED WORDS and the transformation will be complete.

This headline also accurately describes Thanksgiving at my aunt’s house.

They got an outfield seating section that they can’t remotely come close to filling, and which blocks any views from the ballpark. Bad deal for the As.

I’m still wary of FiveThirtyEight probabilities.

I love how the announcers always call those iPads until something goes wrong, at which point they remember that those are Microsoft Surface (TM) tablets.

You’ve got an extraneous “ing business” in that sentence.

Nope. They’re all pretty much disgusting.