“Rickey, the heater’s not working. Seems to be a problem with the coupling.”
“Oh, Rickey knows all about coupling. If you really wanna stay warm, Rickey can tell you about tripling.”

“Rickey, there’s roaches all over the basement. We’re gonna need to fumigate.”
“What?! That won’t stop them. Rickey needs something more powerful, like a whole fumi-wall, with extra thick doors.”

“Rickey...*Sighs*...Listen, I’m sorry but we’re going to have to foreclose on your property.”
“Foreclose? But Rickey has at least 8 properties. So, half of them get to stay open, right?”

The second guy deserved to get thrown out. Number 99? sure buddy... No name on the back of the jersey?? nice try.... He’s an impostor....

1. They know a 19 year old with a history of mental illness and run-ins with the police was easily able to get an AR-15 thanks to the NRA and GOP.

They’re called illusions, Tom.

“I just met the guy with the van in the parking lot to see if there really was an underage girl to have sex with. You know, out of curiosity. Not out of wanting to have sex with her. Y’all are gross.”

Why be a Kwan when you can be a Kardashian?

One ended up in Sacramento.

This is a genuinely cool moment, no cynicism required. Reminds me of the Kenyan cross country skier Philip Boit finishing last in the 1o KM event in 1998. The winner, Bjorn Daehlie, told the officials to postpone the medal ceremony until Boit finished, and greeted him at the finish line. Boit later named one of his…

Shot:

If you can show me a better allegory for the budget approval process in Congress, I’d like to see it.

I bet The Slippery Slope would make a pretty good name for a winter game themed gay bar.

This GI Joe with the Kung-Fu grip looking motherfucker is so deeply closeted, he’s practically in the next room.

In a three-way standoff Wenger will always find a way to finish fourth.

I like the part where she tore her leg up.

I think you’re missing one key point. Spotify is better than the other services and if it means I have to pay a few dollars more for them to earn a profit, so be it.

Crazy Taxi

I’ve heard tales that there’s a peninsula in Europe almost entirely filled with white people with names like Martinez (the rest I think are Brazilians or some shit). Makes you think

You’re being a little harsh; it took Clyde hours to find a tie that perfectly clashed with his own suit but sorta went with Breen’s shirt.