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First line of the description:

No idea about NumPad, never used it.

He is. One of the myriad of reasons I married him.

My mom has two cats that leave her “presents”. One has moved up from chipmunks to squirrels. Mainly because he and his brother decimated the local chipmunk population. They’re dying to try for the hummingbirds.

Are you my husband? He is a hirsute man, and I have tried to get him to just trim down his chest hair so it doesn’t stick out the collar of his t-shirts. He adamantly refuses. Nor will he allow me to pluck the thick long hairs in his eyebrows (although I can trim them when I cut his hair, so he has made one…

Jen Aniston is a multi-millionaire who doesn’t have to leave her home if she doesn’t want to. If she was truly trying to hide anything, she just wouldn’t go out in public. She has people who can get her everything she needs. Also, Amazon exists.

I say this in my car when someone insists on going slowly in front of me. It helps my road rage.

I wore Spanx for my sister’s wedding. That thing came off right after photos were done. I looked like a goddamn sausage.

My husband is a lymphoma survivor. R-CHOP (with the R being Rituxan) is a common chemotherapy cocktail for treating lymphoma. He also got “maintenance” doses of Rituxan as part of a clinical trial to see if it keeps him (and others) in remission longer. I don’t know much about off-label use of medications, but with RA…

See also: Heatherette (do they still exist? apparently not. thank Cthulhu.)

Have you “trained” it to recognize your voice? It seriously helps.

He used a fresh chile, so the oils are on the tampon. Not sure what kind of chiles have powder in them....

Just try it out. It won’t break anything. It’s basically ALL the settings options, in list form, sorted by category.

I love these! I use one at night to take my (minimal) makeup off. I use Cetaphil in the morning.

Petco PALS is pretty good. Spend $100 on anything in the store, get a $5 off anything coupon. I buy my cats’ food there, so it only takes about a couple months to get one.

I have this bag. Which they apparently don’t make anymore. I love it. The nylon is a nice, non-shiny fabric (the solid color ones are just too shiny. They look cheap.), it has a zipper pocket on the inside, a slip pocket on the outside and it zips closed. The straps are long enough to wear on my shoulder (and I have…

I expect to hear that Idris Elba and Viola Davis have signed on as well.

Most checking accounts in the US *don’t* come with overdraft protection. If you want that, you generally have to have a savings account attached and money in that account, or it’s a line of credit that you have to apply for.

*firing up my Roku... navigating to my media player...selecting Deadpool.... yes, I want to play it asshole.... what do I see? The 20th Century Fox logo AND the Marvel logo. Huh. I could have sworn it was Marvel only. I guess we’re both kinda right.

If you’re being sarcastic, not cool.