I know that some nursing homes suggest that men living there get circumcised so that what you describe doesn’t/can’t happen. It’s a cleanliness thing, and I get it.

I’m a huge HP fan and an Old (fight me, bitch). This story was perfection. I’m trying to convince my husband that we NEED to visit PotterWorld in Orlando stat.

Oh my god.... Can we get all three of the (formerly) TG boys?? Am I asking for too much?? Okay. James alone would be fine.

My first date with my husband was a full day in NYC (we both lived in CT). We went to the Natural History Museum, walked around Little Italy (of course we got a slice!) and generally had a great time. We recently celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary.

No coffee necessary! This is how I see it as well, and I’ve been up for 5 hours and had two cups of tea.

Ooh, no. I’m allergic to crunchy.

Saw one of the guys on This Old House with a pair. I can’t wait to be an Old!

I AM NOT CHRIS CHRISTIE. FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID QUIZ.

My mother has a butcher block counter in her kitchen. Heaven forfend if you attempt to cut anything on it without a cutting board underneath.

But would Matt (we’re on a first name basis) own a gold Apple watch? No, he does not.

I remember him better as the jerk corrections officer Percy in The Green Mile.

It’s not a warranty, it’s a guarantee. I worked there. Amazing company all around.

I live in New England. Things are done properly up here. *sniff*

I’m not an extrovert. I never said that OP should be the one mingling, if she has social anxiety. It was more to let her know that people at weddings/receptions aren’t stapled to their seats for the entirety, so she will be able to talk to her friends who are in the wedding party. She won’t be forced to make…

After the dinner (if there is one) everyone mostly just mingles, so you won’t be alone all night. And you obvs wear stilettos to a knife fight. But there won’t be one. Most people (LiLo excluded) are on their best behavior and don’t want to fuck up someone else’s special day.

Just smile, congratulate the newlyweds and tell the bride she looks radiant. That’s all you need to do to successfully navigate a wedding.

We just use Google Keep. I may have to try this Out of Milk of which you speak.

My cat only attacks my feet *under* the covers. If they’re on top, she’s not interested.

Hear hear! My engagement ring is a sapphire surrounded by diamonds. I get compliments on it all the damn time. It was cheaper than a diamond of similar size (1.67 carats, yo!), and much more beautiful.

You’re not the only one.