Tina Fey (via Matt Lauer) really nailed this one:
"I'm always amazed at what women will do because they're afraid of being rude,"

better the dog than the child

my barbies were always hooking up with each other and I'd just give the ken doll to my sister, like 'nah, that dude's a fugly scrub with bad hair, pardon me, but my three barbies are about to do something x rated'

I wear makeup every day (not schlubby at home days, obvs) and I did not previously believe myself to be unusual in that, and yet somehow this whole series has been populated by women who wear almost no makeup on the regular. I feel like I must be a unicorn. But since I had no idea that I was alone in makeup wearing,…

will "thirst alert" be an on going thing? please?

"MICHAEL! Why haven't you changed the baby's diaper yet???"

.... how often is Ashton Kutcher in public restrooms?

In my imagination, he's so super famous they erect one whenever he has the need. (Meanwhile, since he's also Kelso in my imagination, he stands nearby and giggles at the word "erect.")

Then you did actually learn something... that you are into lip gloss fetish videos.

How to make a proposal all about you 101

Interesting what you're saying re: The Nest. I didn't/don't look at it, but that strikes me as less offensive/bothersome. Creating a nice place for ourselves (not sure what how any of us would define "traditional") was exactly what we took on after the wedding. I guess we kind of did want "a nest." Granted, we were…

This shouldn't even be up for debate. EOS. Any flavour. I'm partial to honeysuckle honeydew.

This shouldn't even be up for debate. EOS. Any flavour. I'm partial to honeysuckle honeydew.

I'm planning on farting directly onto the Eiffel Tower.

Sing "Heaven is a Place on Earth" at the Vatican.

Idiots. And honestly, with my extremely limited knowledge of the Italian legal system, I'm fairly confident I'd be on my best behavior there and try not to piss anybody off by doing stupid things like this. Throw the book at them.

Of all of the governments to piss off, the Egyptian government was a bold choice

For a girl from Spence, she has SHIT taste in dresses. That dress? Those cheap extensions? The caked make-up? The Claire's jewelry? Lady, nothing aspirational about this pic.

Apple will be renamed Apple Brown Betty Martin. Or Apple Fritter Martin.

Might be late for her kids. Ya gotta start 'em young.

I hope Gwyneth's kids grow up to be total shitkicking rednecks just to spite her and Chris Martin.

I wish I could give half stars to comments.