The reason you are ashamed is because you put Q-dog in a bikini top and fishnets.

We gays only see movement. When straights stand still they become invisible. Also we don't have object permanence.

lye. the answer at that point is always lye. and maybe a blender

“Dear Ask A Clean Person:

“He’d mixed a half-gallon of bleach with a half-gallon of ammonia in the mop bucket.”

The soup of the day is usually Hitler miss, but I’m sure you’ll just Goebbels up today’s gestapo soup.

Regarding ECA4-0000-0035-DD8F:

Makes sense that Ronda’s a big fan of weed, because she must have been high as fuck when she agreed to be in the Entourage movie.

LEARN2VACATION

god man LEARN2PLAY

The lack of transition from paragraph 1 to 2 made this post super-creepy.

I was working at a margarita bar on the water, so winter was slow. We relied on our regulars, a few of which were a group of late twenties bro dudes who would come in for nachos and fish bowl sized margaritas. They were generally ok, except they LOVED to flirt with all of the female staff, despite none of us being…

Judging by my lack of an arrest record, not drunk enough.

I was way more of a smart-ass when I worked in a bookstore, since my manager was always job hunting and couldn’t have cared less. During the height of the “Twilight” craze, right when the last book and the first movie had been released, we were sent a metric ton of merch, including those SweetHearts chalk-flavored…

Oh dear. I just know I’m going to be randomly blurting out “KAZOOOOOS!” for the rest of the day. Well played. Well played.

You don’t need to feed your Jesus statue. He’s already..

People like this are behind the only sincere prayer I’ve ever prayed, “Jesus Christ, DO SOMETHING about your goddamned followers!”

*rubs eyes* Weekend BCO? WEEKEND BCO!!!

“This is a picture of my wife taking a load off.”