God you are sooooo fucking cool!

Okay, here goes. I do these lonely competitions where I drink a coke and just see how long I can belch. I grade on the level of volume, length of burp and overall uniqueness of said burp. Be gentle, and don't judge me too hard please.

Oh yeah, I also have a collection of dick pics from former boyfriends that I frequently photoshop (I add kitties playing around, or draw funny things around them) and send them back to respective owners when I feel bored. I am in good enough relationships with my exes to be able to do that.

Oh my god, I have been single and living alone so long that I'm probably not even aware of all the weird habits I have. The thing is, if I were to live with someone again, they'd either just have to get used to it or get out. I'm so fine on my own I don't even care. I tweeze hairs off my whole body when I'm bored. I'd…

I also put on music really loud when I am actually cleaning, and take frequent dance breaks. Dancing is the best when there's no one around to judge your smooth dance moves.

Make it weird, April. Make it so weird you giggle about it for years to come.

Honestly, I've read a TON of these answers, and I'm willing to bet mine is the weirdest. I am completely silent when alone. I do not talk to the TV, the cat, I hate answering the phone when I've got a good silence brewing. I love my husband, but seriously he is always making noises, singing, talking to me, to the cat,…

When I was single, I would set up races for me and my dog. I would arrange a starting line, I'd have her sit, and we'd both tear off to the end of my living room, and then back. If she won, she'd get a milk bone or two.

I'm naked. All the time.

I live alone and I strip more or less naked as soon as I walk through the door. Outside clothes come off, particularly the bra, and I throw on a dirty t-shirt.

When I'm alone I eat cottage cheese and potato chips for like every meal (use the cottage cheese as chip dip). Like the entire bag and container. I also am extremely lazy and shower a lot less. I sort of think of my developing stench as an experiment. Watching intervention and hoarders or other weird reality tv shows…

During a particularly bad or surreal date, my inner voice will switch to David Attenborough and narrate the date as though it were a scene from Nature or Blue Planet. It's difficult to get into the mood from there, and once he makes an appearance I know things are over for the relationship. Of course, this might not…

Favorite alone snack: Nutella smeared directly and generously on a banana. Delicious, but messy. But it's actually healthy, see, because you have a whole piece of fruit. You have to keep Nutella-ing the banana as you go.

I narrate everything I do. Sometimes it's a conversation like "What am I doing? Oh! I"m doing the dishes! Nope, already did them. Hurray!"

I had to think about it, because frankly, I do a lot of weird things. But I did it. I figured out the weirdest one.
Sometimes, when I have to fart, I lay on my back and spread my cheeks apart, because I find it oddly satisfying to have a fart that's just a puff of air.

I listen to gangster rap in foreign languages like French and German. Loudly. I don't speak French or German. Sometimes I will sing along by making sounds that seem about right.

This just made me so much more excited to get home from work later and do SSB things. I shall first and foremost cover a "healthy" oven-baked pizza in actual mozzarella, watch the same 5 episodes of friends on a loop, and discuss my day with my 11-year-old dog. And in tribute to this comment stream, I will do it all…

One of my favorite 'single and living alone' memories is a bottle of chardonnay and a sudden overwhelming desire to get in shape. I had my hula hoop that I'd ordered after I went to Bonnaroo and decided that was my thing (it wasn't), so I picked it up and choreographed an entire workout routine in my living room. It…

Rehearsing out loud the arguments I will never have with people who have upset me sometime between twenty five years ago and today, when I'm angry.

Mine aren't particular strange I think - they mostly involve singing: