Same! I feed both my dog and cat Dave’s Pet Food which is expensive, low-ingredient, and supposedly super healthy. They both need special diets, the dog is allergic to chicken and the cat has a urinary stone problem, which the Dave’s brand covers.

Try staging some of your wedding photos like this, with the two of you in front and everyone else scattered behind. Looks cool and it will make y’all look taller!

If one genuinely believes that life begins at conception and that an embryo is a living baby, then how is intentionally implanting it so it has absolutely no chance of living not an abortion? You’re purposefully aborting its ability to survive.

This sounds like a really roundabout way to say abortion. These people are ridiculous.

The reality TV host is President and the President is a reality TV host.

Oh nice you just described me...

Yeah I completely agree.. If you’re still referring to that person as your friend then they must be a good person. So it’s not just assholes who ghost. Frankly I once sort-of ghosted someone by accident because I forgot to respond to a text. I think maybe we’ve just become so accustomed to anonymous digital…

One of the guys is good friends with my best friend’s boyfriend. Obviously this means we see each other fairly often. I ended up just telling him to admit he ghosted me and that it was wack and he apologized. My courage was fueled by alcohol but it felt so good.

I’ve been stuck in single-land with no hope or prospects for way too long now. I’m basically giving up and am only 30. But I see all these wonderful, successful, beautiful women that I know who are mid-40's and up in the same boat so how could I think it would be any different for me?

Haha you must be my friend. This has been my life for 5 years now and I’m pretty over it. I’ve been ghosted twice in the MIDDLE of a conversation (over text.) Both times we were making plans for another date and then.... they died? Idk.

I hope you’re using the Kiehl’s before the Olay moisturizer, otherwise you’re just wasting your money! Also, religiously washing my makeup off is like my #1 rule for keeping my face young forever (double cleanse for life. Literally.)

SAME. I had no actual regimen save for trying to remember to wash my makeup off with whatever soap was around.

A very good lion and also dog

Looks like you’re one too. Thanks for the life advice fuckhole.

you should be lowering your standards for how physically attractive your partners are, how rich they are, everything

The smartest thing Tiffany ever did was convincing us all to literally wear their logo tags. Branded idiots.

The good news is you won’t need teeth when you’re radioactive ash.

Okay now, why you wanna go and Douthat, Douthat?
Sometimes I say that I’m the most misogynistic,
I guess I had to prove that

Puerto Ricans generally clap when the plane lands, but I bet this flight got an extra loud round of applause.

The “parties” are the worst, I got tricked into attending an Avon presentation once - was definitely not a party, no food or booze wtf - and at the end the lady had each of us come in a room alone with her to talk. I was like oh hell no and held my ground. I was not going to buy a damn thing. I tried to be nice about…