Also, dating is a lot of goddamn work, and I'd almost always rather get stoned, cuddle with my pups, and binge-watch TV.

Absolutely. I dated a guy who was an absolute gem. Really sweet, treated me like a princess, hard-worker, etc etc just a great guy. However after a while I wanted NOTHING to do with him sexually. He even started to smell bad to me... like onions and mushrooms. I think I really broke his heart when I broke up with him,…

I'm about to turn 28 and my last relationship (of almost three years) ended just over two years ago. Since then I've been on a handful of dates and have had exactly zero relationships. I'm starting to think I'm either undateable or there's just nobody out there for me. It's even harder since literally all of my…

As a fellow New Orleanian, I am so so sorry. Bourbon St tourists are the worst.

Insults are more insulting when you capitalize them, duh.

I always tip, but it infuriates me when there's a delivery charge. WTF is that going to exactly? The restaurant is most likely not covering anything for the actual delivery of the food (gas, car maintenance, etc) other than paying the driver himself. But you don't see a "service charge" for paying the servers.

I guess you shouldn't have worn that super slutty tight t-shirt that showed off your ripping muscles, and been unconscious (because I drugged you.) How am I supposed to know you weren't asking for it???

Ahh my favorite method of parking when I lived in Upstate NY. Worked wonders except for that one time I parked in a pile of snow during a blizzard, got stuck, and my trunk was frozen shut so I couldn't access the shovel that was in there.

To this man, his father, and all men like him I say:

Milo on the Nip

I was reading the guidelines for Quantas employees when flying to or through Saudi Arabia. They actually state that if a male passenger has an issue it's better to have a male employee deal with him, regardless of if they are in a lower position than the female employee. Basically, if you want to work on a flight…

Roux says keep your head up and have a cookie!

That cannot possibly be what God wants.

My seatmate on my last flight was a grown man who looked like he wouldn't be scared of anything. He spent the entire flight shaking in fear at every tiny jostle, while I - a girl - spent it reading. And trying to reassure him that yes, the plane will stay in the air and we're not going to die today.

*white men

Maybe he's okay with retroactive abortions. So the kid is like, idk 2 or whatever by the time you're done dealing with all the court proceedings. THEN you can have an abortion.

If you jump up on a chair and deliver this message as a sermon I want to see the video.

The angel Gabriel appeared to you in your sleep and told you to get your tubes tied.

The angel Gabriel appeared to you in your sleep and told you to get your tubes tied.

Louisiana is the best because you can buy beer, wine, and liquor at any time of day or night at the gas station. GENIUS.