semi-sentient, disappointingly bland salt lick Donald Trump

I think if you block, you won’t see anything, not even their comments on mutual friends’ posts.

do that, it works pretty great! I got dumped back in May but still didn’t see the breakup bad enough to block or unfriend the guy but I definitely didn’t wanna see him on my newsfeed. Except for sometimes he likes my stuff and I just wanna be like:

when are they gonna roll out the feature that keeps facebook from suggesting my ex-fiance’s new (like, NEW new) wife as “someone i might know”?

Thank you, I would love to join! Here's to hoping 27 is better than 26, and 2016 will be a great year!

ok but I need to wear that outfit every single day for the rest of my fucking life thanks.

Also, as someone who has fallen off a sidewalk more than once, I can attest that some of us just aren’t meant for walking in an upright fashion at all points in time. And don’t get me started on how often I turn too soon around a…

“a herpe”

That Amy Schumer thing sounds pretty much like an extremely overblown situation mostly made up by the magazine. Like, if I was famous and I was being turned away for forgetting my membership card, I think that’s one scenario where “You know who I am” is pretty valid since it’s unlikely someone would be pretending to…

Decomposing pumpkin pie inhabited by vicious albino squirrels

Your wisdom, I bow down to it.

I have multiple contacts labeled “Trouble.” They’re all the exes I don’t want to talk to. I’m not tempted to call them, because who knows who I might get? As an extra bonus, I’m also not tempted to pick up when they call me, because it might be the one I’m kind of missing or it might be the one I’ve never forgiven and…

This movie would be funnier with a wheel of Brie as a lead.

Dakota Johnson has comedic talent on par with a piece of wet cardboard.

I could know the jokes without having to actually WATCH the shows.

Yeah, the Soup is my source for knowing what everyone at work is even talking about. Not just Kardashians, but Housewives, and Toddlers and Tiaras, and all that crap. I could know the jokes without having to actually WATCH the shows. Huge bummer.

Mark, I love you, PLEASE DON’T LEAVE US.

Is it political? I have no idea what’s going on with this except my favorite stuff is going away. I was pretty much done with Jez and then millihelen came in and made me happy. And I’m not a Pinkham fan, but BCO Mondays had become canon.

Add that to an issue with a stupid class and then a therapy session where I was…

Weeping at the thought of no more BCO.