It’s a shame he didn’t win a first class flight through the windshield. Never understood people’s refusal to wear a seatbelt, but always felt as though Darwin should be allowed to take the reigns.

In this day and age I’m still absolutely baffled at people who fail to wear a seatbelt. The ability for airbags to help you is seriously impaired if your body’s movement isn’t constrained so the airbags can do their job safely and properly.

Not wearing his seatbelt either.

The racism is insane, but there’s another thing here. YES, GIRLS CAN HANG OUT WITH GUYS WITHOUT FUCKING THEM! Shocking, right?! The vast majority of my friends are dudes, none of them have slept with me. At the same time, stop assuming girls are sleeping with whatever guys they’re friends with! If you’ve ever heard of…

Your budget is too conservative for a proper mid-life crisis, and nothing on that list would cause the requisite marital strife. That said, there’s still a way to get what you want while still going full-on Derpasaurus:

With a combination like this, I’d be worried about blowing a tranny.

Thinking that Trump is a incoherent blowhard isn’t political, he could be running as an Independent or Dem and people still would believe that. No, this is an article about an overvalued, weirdly colored relic of the 80's and the car he is selling.

You mean “say goodbye to your behymen”. It’s technical term for butthole cherry.

Well, this thread took an unexpected turn.