Ted Cruz is Vogon poetry personified.

Physically, Manafort never really went anywhere: He owns an apartment in Trump Tower.

I’m sure they’ll post a “positive” Trump story just for you . . . assuming there’s ever one to report.

Do you understand the kind of brainwashing that woman has been subject to for her entire life? People in Quiverfull circles actually think that divorce is worse than murder. She’s under incredible pressure from both sides of the family to “forgive” him. And since she’s probably been homeschooled her entire life until…

Why is he still allowed to be around children? His or any?

Herr Fünfundvierzig’s murder of sycophants.

Failing career and all?

“Congrats Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, and Pennsylvania. You played yourself.”

Speaking of coasts and budget cuts, the Trump administration (ugh) is proposing cutting funding to the Great Lakes from $300 million to $10 million. When people saw the number they thought it was a joke, because no one could be that fucking petty. But, no, it’s a real proposal. Like, it’d almost be palatable if they…

Ben Carson used to confuse the fuck out of me. Then I saw ‘Get Out’, and NOW he makes sense.

“Ben, go wander that way. Stop at the microphones and talk.”

Today’s Headline:

Translation: “I don’t get how memes work.”

I’ve asked this before, but when did it become no longer a thing where Nazis are the definitive bad buys? I mean I grew up watching Indiana Jones & Captain America punch Nazis in the face and everyone cheered. How is this a thing?

It’s amazing really. They are like the Bruce Campbell demon from the x files, constantly hoping for a normal baby, but just keep on making demon baby’s and aborting them in a leaf pile in the backyard like a bunch of hypocrites.

Wonder how many confederate flag wavers are telling Hillary supporters “you lost, get over it”?

“Madman Manages to Build 20-Foot Tall Fire Tornado Without Burning Down His Entire Country”

Christ, another Trump story?

Not to be outdone on pop culture expertise, Republican members of Congress wheeled in their very own theater organ to accompany a showing of The Birth of a Nation in support of rolling back voting rights.