Eh, that’s just a social convention/nicety that pretty much everyone realizes is not a serious inquiry. A simple, “fine thanks” is all that’s expected and it doesn’t take much thought. If you respond to a stranger’s “How are you today?” with a response like yours, which is clearly meant to make someone else…

You can pry “Per my last e-mail” from my cold, dead fingers. It is the perfect level of frustration to display in a professional setting when none of your nimrod colleagues exhibit even basic reading comprehension. Or when they’re simply trying to offload all of their work on you and aren’t taking no for an answer. 

I wish I was ever in a position where I could just write off $2,000 as a sunk cost. Even the $100 matters to a lot of people. And even if it doesn’t, it’s the principle of the thing. If I’ve paid the landlord every month and if I’ve been respectful of their property, then I deserve my security deposit back. You’re…

It sucks and it’s not fair, but I generally assume that many unscrupulous landlords are going to take out whatever the cost of a professional cleaning is from the security deposit. It’s an expense that they all basically undertake between renters, and shady landlords always want to pass that expense off on someone…

Swimming backpacks make great gym bags. They’re generally huge, with tons of compartments and wet/dry sections. I’ve got this Speedo Teamster and it has so far proven indestructible. I look forward to the day when I can once again return to the gym and actually use it some more, but in my neck of the woods that is…

Same here. I would never get marble for anything other than a show kitchen that you don’t plan to regularly cook in. I live too much in my kitchen for something like marble to be realistic. We went with a granite-look quartz, and it is fabulous. It cleans up with simply soapy water, and maybe once a month we spray on…

I’m late to the comment party on this post, but I think you might really like garnish sprays. I’ve stopped using fresh, whole, citrus fruits to garnish drinks because it seemed really wasteful (particularly when it’s often just me making a drink for myself). Sprays are the way to go, if you ask me. There are a couple…

Yeah, I’m fairly cynical overall when it comes to how much faith to put in the average American. But even I thought there would come a time in this pandemic when people would look around and go, “Holy shit, people are dying, we should probably listen to the scientists.” I wasn’t foolish enough to think that would…

I felt enormous pangs of jealousy reading this. I would probably feel confident going to the movies or to restaurants in a place where the vaccination rate was 80%+. Instead, I’m mired in 50% land, among unmasked, unvaccinated assholes who proudly flout any public health measures. Our vaccination numbers haven’t…

Nope. They’re men. Like it or not, if you’re a man, this is what many of your compatriots are. Fully grown men. A lot of men like to stomp around and say stuff like, “That’s not men, those are boys,” but here’s the thing: saying stuff like that allows you, a man, to be the one who draws the line. “Here are all the Good…

Plus, a lot of people have home theater setups that, quite frankly, are basically on par with many theaters. If you’ve got a large, high-end TV with a good sound system, I feel like very little is lost from the viewing experience. In some ways, the experience at home is definitely better. I’ve frequently had to use…

Retta is the hands down winner. If Retta and Jim O’Heir did a podcast together about literally anything, I would listen to that shit. 

We’ve gotten so good about monitoring the flyers for sales in the past year and a half. I went from being someone who ignored the sales to someone who legitimately gets excited when there’s a good sale on pork tenderloin. I’ll buy what’s on sale to make something wonderful and serendipitous, but I’m also that person…

Same here. The list helps me avoid unhealthy impulse purchases (although I do go rogue sometimes. What can I say? I’m weak). I also need a list because I’ve become pretty fanatical about shopping smarter with regard to the sales. I’ve kept a closer eye this past year on what things cost and what constitutes a good…

Aisle-wanderer turned list-maker here. I would say I’m an introverted adventurer and I do like to make recipes up as I go, but that said I don’t put much stock in things that try to extrapolate your personality from something like this. In my wandering days, my approach was basically this: go to the grocery store and…

I snorted Diet Coke up into my nose when I read your last sentence. It has a beautiful little turn there at the end that makes it just perfect. 

You point blank said you’d argued for it a million times. So yeah...that’s a pretty clear approval or indication that you think it is both funny and OK. I get that you’re not saying that Goodman should literally be playing Tripp. But you’re putting a deeply misogynistic portrayal of an actual person forward as the…

I mean, his whole list is ridiculous, but Tilda fucking Swinton put me over the edge.

I don’t need to know you. If you’re still joking that John Goodman in drag as Linda Tripp is both funny and OK, that’s all I need to know to know that you could be doing better. 

A couple of things to add: