My steaming hot take is Melissa McCarthy was the only good thing to come out of GG. Otherwise, no thanks.

Even though I’ve always been interested in true crime, nothing about the JonBenet case appeals to me. Maybe because I grew up in the nineties (I’m a year younger than Burke Ramsey? I guess?) and her face was always on some magazine or other at the supermarket, I just automatically ignore it. It’s an awful story. That…

#NotAllMittys

I caught that rant and it made me a life-long fan of Jon Lovett.

Literally the Ann Veal of presidential candidates. Him?

Yeah, I think she meant it earnestly.

Are people going to come after Hills for using ‘bless his heart’ even though she’s not really Southern? (I don’t care.)

And yet still no movie about Kick.

Well, yeah. There are some seriously messed up fairy tales out there. The one about the fur dress? Gives me the willies, every time.

Is that Chad Michael Murray’s character? If so, yes, I agree.

After some googling, I guess it was Samuel, not Henry who was the big Transcendentalist in da house, but Stephen & Zilpha (great name, let’s bring it back) were still his parents, so...

I will always star body-snatching jokes.

Botched paperwork? No, clearly we’re looking for a pair of (possible Transcendentalist, idk what they thought of their son’s work) zombies.

Okay, which one is this one again? Not the hot daughter, or the forgotten daughter... Probably not the 10 year old? Is this the one that posts fascistic propaganda involving fruit candies or ... How many of them are there?

Like Dick and boner doesn’t naturally go together! ;)

I’m wearing a pair of obnoxiously bright Asics right now. Don’t give a hoot!

I do immediately notice people’s enormous rings but only to fantasize about them being ring pops. (And vice versa.)

And, in truth, Dick Cheney was probably allowed to sit because he is legally dead.

Oh no, all the mail from the previous owner of my house goes in the trash. (I tried putting it back in the mailbox with return to sender. I tried calling the post office, explaining this guy no longer lives there. No dice. Keeps happening. So in the trash it goes.)

Absolutely true.