I read Jillian Bell as Jamie Bell and got really excited. It could’ve been an Eagle AU! It probably will be an Eagle AU.

In my day, the After School Satan Club was just called television.

Well, we need to know Roy’s thoughts about Ukrainian sovereignty to really know for sure.

Was that Beyhive member named ... Vladimir Putin?

Ahhhhh. Cruise-true crime is the most terrifying kind.

[Enraged screaming.]

Absolutely. She’s a hero in my book.

Your sister Missy is a True American. :'D

Obviously! But what about his reverse twin??

LOL, I’m sorry for the people who are upset about my actions. I was a very unwoke seven year old! The conservative kid gave us shit for being poor in turn. It was good-natured, bipartisan schoolyard fun.

What a time to have been alive. I remember ganging up with some fellow second-graders to lightly bully a boy who had loudly declared that his dad was going to vote for Bob Dole.

His legal writing is what I imagine mirrorverse Chuck Tingle would put out.

Well, I’ve never had deviled eggs in my life, although I’m pretty devoted to the Bengali egg curry recipe where you cover a boiled egg with spices, pan fry it and then cook it in a rich gravy. It is amazing. And I think your ‘deviled egg’ could be amazing too, if you fried the shit out of it.

90%! But that's the score most people got, so I don't feel special. Thanks, Jezebel!

I’m against, due to a searing incident in my youth. Gather ‘round, I’ll tell you about it.

Heh! Well, okay. At least a buckle of warm spit.

I keep saying that if everyone who would vote Democrat, did vote Democrat, GA could be in play again. The population of minority voters is on the rise, especially in the suburbs of Atlanta (Gwinnett county, to be exact) — and yet. It’s stalled out, and that’s by (Republican) design.

Ah, from Internet’s Dad to Internet’s Actual Dad within a week.

Oh but then she wouldn’t inspire confidence. How can the commander-in-chief sound like a little girl?

Must be that vocal fry thing, huh!