Cover-ups - the Watergate's cute new name for bathrobes.

Related: Dick (Kristin Durst movie) is a modern classic.

I'm glad the good folks at Harvard told us something we didn't know and couldn't possibly have guessed.

His eyes are so fucking blue.

I got blonde highlights in my naturally black hair and I look like a fabulous gold-dipped raccoon and I’ve never been happier.

That lipstick needs to be in my life.

Mickey D’s WiFi saved me during a rough patch in my life. Also, shit, I never give people shit for slow orders at fast food restaurants. This world is broken. Nothing is as promised, you know?

Serving up some Hyacinth Bucket realness.

Shoulder pads! My sister and I would steal them off my mom’s clothes and pretend we had boobs. Also I remember being REALLY EXCITED that when I grew up I too would wear sheer hosiery that came in Pokémon balls... Which we take out of those balls and put over our heads and run around in.

A new superfood made of finely-ground clown wigs

OMG, sulky floppy hat woman is me. And all this just reminds me of my mom's old copies of Victoria that she'd bring home after work at Daytons. Innocent times indeed.

Some serious Dorian Gray vibes here!!

A ladybug’s gotta do what a ladybug's gotta do.

I feel like I’m starving at the drive-through of McDonald’s when it comes to Chris Christie criticism.

By the time I get to see Hamilton with my own two eyes, the only person left from the original will be increasingly bitter ghost of Thomas Jefferson, probably!!

I have to say, my vageen is pretty pleased by Clinton's remarks. The Kegels I did before voting for her really paid off.

Cats and dogs, living together — in sin!

You know, I probably could have timed getting burner account a little better (I got it, um, today), but I want y’all to know that I sincerely appreciate the work Jezebel has done over the years.

This dog is more fancy than I’ll ever be. Look at that napkin tied around his neck!

This the best, most appropriate JLaw casting news of all time.