Bloody nose and lip pulling up my own bra strap. My hand slipped and I punched myself.

Well if she wants to capitalize on this media blip, she better hop to it.

Sangria Piñata

wait - some guy called you and yours "nasty faggots," and then told you how he wants to fuck the both of you?

That header image.... why Mark? Why?
You know people are eating frosted cookies this time of year.....

damn I feel your hooded eye pain sister. I complain about it all the time. I complain so much my man actually thought it was a condition. I said something about wanting to switch to contact lenses and he said "is it safe for you to wear those? Didn't you tell me you had hooded eyes?? I don't want you going blind"…

I feel your pain. As a sufferer of chronic UTIs, I am sick and goddamned tired of the assumption that this is all happening because I, as a 37-year-old, gainfully-employed adult, do not know how to properly wipe my ass.

Well to be fair : a place where sometimes smelly/ gross/ fun /wonderful things happen

LITERALLY THE BEST PART OF THAT VIDEO IS THE LITTLE GIRL NEXT TO HIM WHO CANT HANDLE HIS HOTNESS

THANK YOU FOR THESE GIFS

Tandra?

Oh ho! That motherfucker. It's on now. It. Is. On.

We had an office poll going for the color of the year and my boss guessed Marsala. Not the idea of the color, but the name. WTF. I can't believe he won.

Look, if someone had picked up a gun and shot him, would it not have been murder? Taken his watch, that's still theft. Punched him in the face, still assualt. Just because he allowed himself to be vulnerable does not mean that anyone should take advantage of that. Also, arousal of any form is a biological response to…

Can't stop, won't stop watching this gif(t).

Little girl was going deep. ***finger snaps***

Judging by your use of "behaviour," you are either not from the U.S., or you are extremely pretentious. If you are not from here, stfu.

If I have to hear my mother sigh dramatically and say "I only want some more grandchildren" while looking in my direction, I will lose it. You already have 6 grandkids woman. My mom, always able to make me feel worse about my single status.

I know, right? She'll post her general shitty/funny work and then BAM! Amazing portrait.... She's probably the most interesting tattoo artist I've ever seen and I'm bummed that THIS is how most Jezzies are discovering her. Gettin' all Jez/Lena Dunham on her.... *shakes head*

ETA: Oh good... Since I'm out of the grey,…