Sooooo, they are going to just let these assholes continue to rape girls?????????!!!!!!!!!

I already wanted to cry before I read this; this just put me over the top. I just can't. :(

Eat that, and you shit Portland, OR.

Because we now all have (or should have) this stuck in our heads:

This drives me nuts. I want to shake religious pro-lifers and scream "IT'S IN YOUR OWN DAMN BOOK - READ IT SOMETIME!" at them.

Come on, conservatives. The only bible verse to specifically talk about abortion (as in outside forces ending a pregnancy) specifically treats it different than murder. It also says many, many times to take care of the poor. Not the deserving poor, or the 'right' kind of poor- there are no such distinctions. Don't…

What does her nipple being shown have to do with anything? It's a fucking nipple.

Never talk to him again. Move on, better yourself, and be happy.

Really, who can keep track of where all the hair comes from, all I know is that I have garbage bags full of it.

It's weird how twitter can make or break someone for me. I never really thought about Minnie Driver before, but now I fucking love her. Stedman on the other hand- boo, you hush Stedman.

...It wouldn’t be unusual to see them leave the front desk and play Frisbee or kick a soccer ball out front. Then during office parties, they would pop their shirts off and serve a tomato-mozzarella appetizer — cater waiters. I mean, these are people who work here.

Video of these "cater waiters" on the way to work:

I dream about riders a lot. I would require:

MARIONETTE SNARKING!!! MARIONETTE SNARKING!!!

Jagermeister has a neck tattoo and is a part time roady for the Reverend Horton Heat, you hook up with him whenever hes in town.

Sangria is the attractive sweet-smelling man you just met at the beach. Who also just roofied you.

Uhh

I have boobs, yet am still mesmerized by them. They're lovely as tea trays, cozy cushions for the weary, dispensers of nutrition and sireens that call the sailors into the shoals of certain death. You're just fighting a losing battle here people.