When I was in 4th grade, I became a kickball legend. I was playing 2nd base, with runners on 1st and 2nd base, with no outs. Anyway, up comes the opposing team captain and he kicks a screaming line drive right to me (out #1). I catch the ball chest high, center mass. I pivot slightly to my right and notice the the…

Thug.

I enjoy the implication that if you don't like Kanye or consider him a genius then it's obviously because he's black...not because he's an egotistical asshole who makes music that not everybody likes

Success is relative.

Mine involve him marrying Casey Anthony, spawning the anti-Christ, and becoming King and Queen of Florida.

Isn't anyone else kind of rooting for him getting shot on the doorstep of the person he's delivering the painting to, because they felt threatened?

My 2014 G. Zimmerman predictions involve the IRS.

So we got mad about something, and someone listened and is now doing something?

Ugh, if he's gonna rip off Marvin Gaye, can't his dad rip off Senior?

Speaking on behalf of many Californians, we'll be happy to take the 9th largest economy in the world and go.

However, unlike Blade Runner, anal sex is vastly improved when narrated by Harrison Ford.

The ONLY way to cook them is right on the grill, then dunked in butter. That's it. Anything else is a waste of time.

From the way they're positioned, it looks like the two tentacles are about to high-five. I am unsettled.

Is it sexist that I read the headline as:

I would make a good joke if I could think of one. I just can't! Right now'm all WHOA DUDE ANGELINA FUCKING JOLIE HAD A MASTECTOMY WHOA WHEN WAS MY LAST BREAST EXAM

Ugh. I'm so upset about all of this. It's bringing up all the feelings from when they first split up but worse, because it wasn't something neutral like 'growing apart', it was Thurston actively being shitty. ALSO, this woman looks somewhat like me, and somehow it makes me more upset. Don't use my likeness when acting…