What fucked-up ridiculous Pixie Stix eating technique are you using? It's not corn on the cob, man.

Next to empty bbq takeout boxes and empty 2 liters of RC Cola.

Tony Stewart doesn't start fights, he finishes them.

Man, you could point out a car to him and go "LOL, LOOK MAN! WE NAMED THAT ONE AFTER YOU!" and he might get a hearty chuckle out of it, but would immediately get serious and say "Your automechanical horse-less carriages are impressive, future man; but tell me - HOW DO YOU CLEAN THEM?!".

you should let Lew Toller know about this opportunity

Well sure, where better to vomit than a place destined to be thoroughly cleansed by God every few years.

If you dare criticize our QB for doing dumb shit on the field, you get called a "closet Falcons fan."

Ok, bro. I'm from Atlanta and currently live in the heart of Atlanta and literally had to drive 23 miles to find the closest TGI Friday's when I did the endless apps deal this past Sunday. So fuck you.

Pat Summit has forgotten more about basketball than Becky Hammon will ever know.

Underwear: Boxer Briefs. I wore the whitey tighties as kid, then the loose boxers. Once I discovered the Under Armour boxer briefs (6" inseam version), life changed. They dont' ride up, they are just supportive enough, women think they are sexy, and they are comfortable. There is a reason the ad says "You'll never…

If that homer was 422 feet, then my penis...well...

"Skin tight, fits me like a glove," once sang by Chicago is what 16 people in Chicago would have said as the zipper closed on their body bags but they couldn't because they were shot and killed over the Holiday weekend.

Unfortunately a 17th victim has been reported, condolences to Kim's sense of humor.

Cubs fans often worry that the team will not win a championship in their lifetime. Sadly, 16 Chicagoans realized their worst fears this weekend, as their lives ended without experiencing a World Series triumph for their beloved Cubbies.

The rock band Chicago once sang, "Does anybody really know what time it is?" For 82 people in Chicago over the holiday weekend, it was time to get shot

"So much depends on a red wheelbarrow," William Carlos Williams famously wrote. Well, that might be true some places, but in Chicago 82 people didn't much care for red wheelbarrows, I'm guessing. You know why? Because they got shot.

"People like to joke that any Chicago native would shoot you for attempting to order a hot dog with ketchup on it in their town. But no one was joking when 82 Chicagoans were shot in the city this past weekend. Nor were they ordering hot dogs."

In The Untouchables, Sean Connery's character famously said, "He pulls out a knife, you pull out a gun. That's the Chicago way." By that math, 82 people pulled out knives over the July 4th weekend.

It's almost like you read his last paragraph and repeated it.

Thank goodness Titz69 spoke his mind on the issue, now I know which way I should side in the debate