Never fuck over the delivery guy. They know where you live.

Q. Don’t you hate pants?

Not sure why there are a bunch of Eagles fans at FedEx Field.

I don’t know. Philadelphia has been pretty insufferable lately. Every time I turn on sports radio I become more convinced that we deserve this shit.

No, but we missed that part where it was any of our business.

CHA CHING

Give him a break. He did go to DeAngelo Williams’s mothers funeral.