Not with that attitude you can’t. I mean, have you even seen Michael Jackson’s Black or White video?

But one wife *bought* crackers, while the other made them from scratch.

What!? Noooooooo how could I betray my childhood like that? I’m so disappointed in myself for spelling it wrong.

I remember it was spelled NIMH, you fucking casual.

> “meh” meaning “mediocre”

It’s like you’ve never even heard of Utah.

The worst are those Coca-cola funded “student films”. Some poor saps from NYU or other preppy college is forced to make a 60-second short framed as some “magic of the movie experience” that is really a crappy ad shilling overpriced shitty popcorn and diabetes-enducing sodas. Good job learning how to sell out, [Dakota]…

I live in rural Utah. All of you are right about the BYU thing.

In the last few years advertising has really doubled down on “smarmy white dude” as their theme and I hate it. 

If there is a video, I’m sure it will autoplay for you.

A friend of mine in college had a cigarette rolling machine and used that to roll thin joints that fit in empty cigarette boxes. He could walk around with the box in his shirt pocket and nobody would think twice about it, then get in his car, light one, and drive down the road with no one the wiser. Fucking next level…

Hot take:

Hot Polygamists Who Love Road-Tripping Want to Meet Up In Your Area!

I assume that Chad is either a mormon on a 15th century European monarch, and all his wives are competing for the love of the son which, apparently, can be bought to varying degrees based upon the quality of crackers provided. 

What is going on with the wife situation here? Are the two wives getting together to collaborate on cracker supplies?  Are they road-tripping together?  Will the video be available as a subscription?

Ya, well teach’em how to ride a motorcycle, then I’ll be impressed. ;)

Meanwhile, I’d just like to remind people what it was like to have a GOAT who could genuinely laugh at himself:

They don’t compare

The project to teach rats to drive was led by Dr. Kelly Lambert, a Professor of Behavioral Neuroscience at the University of Richmond.

Do they scurry when something bigger comes their way? Pack themselves together and drive as one? How about defecating where they’re not supposed to? Or taking what’s not theirs?