This take is so hot my eyebrows wilted away to nothing. Somebody get me a sharpie.

Oh boy, I can’t wait to see the Dead Letters generated by this article.

Because, despite their proliferation throughout the ranks of professional and collegiate football, most football coaches are actually terrible at their jobs. A lowering tide sinks all boats?

I feel like I’m supposed to take away something from this article... something related to time and Lionel Messi. I just need it hammered home one more time to really internalize it, though.

If I told him once I told him a thousand goddamn times, You gotta watch the follow through on your celebration dance or you will thumb yourself right in the goddamn eye! But did he listen? FUCK and NO! 

Percocet. Ever had these? For years I put up the old man “Get off my lawn” routine. But now? I MUST HAVE. Give me all the Percocet. They tell you you’re not allowed to have cheap beer, but brother, you haven’t listened to Skins talk radio all week. 95% of what’s wrong with the NFL could be washed away with these…

We miss you Drew. We all want you to get better. NO ONE DENIES THIS.

I did sucky

69-yard-play : story involving Gronk :: smelly wet fart : story involving Big Ben

Gruden decided to make his bed with Sanchez as his No. 1 guy, and an off-the-street guy as his No. 2, for reasons that will never be explicitly articulated.

It’s like if Curt Schilling and Philip Rivers had a baby and it learned how to talk by watching videos of people having strokes.

I’m no economist but hiring Freeze is always a bad move IMO

Liberty has made their name in recent years as the place that will hire any scandal-plagued dirtball.

My name is Garrett Webster , my dad was mike Webster , whom Mr Jackson referenced in his response . My dad was also a team mate of Merril Hoge . I want to say this is a great sort of summery of the issues surrounding this book . Thank you Mr Jackson for a well written and fair write up . Personally I think Merril Hoge…

I guess? I mean, is ‘show me how to do something you like, neigh, love?’ not how people date anymore? ;)

I found this at The Straight Dope: An oft-cited 1985 study of Frank Bruno, who’d go on to be WBC heavyweight champ, showed he could punch with a force of 920 pounds in the lab. Researchers extrapolated that to a real-life blow of 1,420 pounds, enough to accelerate his opponent’s head at a rate of 53 g — that is, 53…

“Football is safer than it’s ever been.” This talking point is repeated throughout the book. Safe, safe, safer, safe.