“Welcome to hell, basketball” What Shaq whispered to the ball prior to every free throw he ever took?

“Tim Tebow Celebrates Sukkot By Sucking It.” This one killed me.

I’d put my money on football, the guy was fucking yoked.

• Matthew, Mark, Luke, And John, Tebow K’d With Two Men On

How about, “Tim Tebow is as bad at baseball as he is at football.”

He’s been reading his Psalms so hopefully he can hit psomething.

0 HBPs

Matthew 27:29: And they twisted together a sombrero of gold and put it on His head. They put a bat in His right hand and knelt down before Him to mock Him, saying, “Hail, King of the Mets!”

Well it was really just 409 of the.

Sexual asphalt

Half of Trump supporters reflexively blamed Bill Clinton.

1,000 Penn State alums just reflexively wrote an angry letter in support of JoePa.

You know you’re in trouble when you’ve lost the moral high ground to a bunch of (Groucho) Marxists.

HOST: Our next call is from Curt in Rhode Island. What have you got for us today, Curt?

There’s tone deaf, and then there’s having gongs for ear drums and moist lint for brain tissue. Pence seems to be in the latter category.

Most of America knows Indiana for Dan Quayle and Mike Pence. Honestly I’m surprised they haven’t built a wall already.

Hoosier-approved.

“To this 11-year-old girl, Mike Pence says, honey, you know what’s worse than not being pretty enough? Not being pretty enough while you’re getting bombed by ISIS.”

I mean I don’t even know what to say to this. It absolutely amazes and terrifies me that we even have to have a discussion about these jagoffs winning an election.

Rebuttal: This Piano Is Fine