Staaaahhhhp!

It's pretty difficult for me to defend Gaga to anyone because of this.

Have you been watching Orphan Black? Not really a "lovable loser," but the main character Sarah Manning is an anti-hero type who can be an asshole even though you're still rooting for her. SO many good female characters on that show.

Also it would be a good lesson to the children to return something to it's rightful owner if it was wrongfully taken from him/her/them

Is Florida even real? Or is it a Christopher Guest movie?

Now this comment makes no sense — I changed the lead image. Before it was...creepy.

"Washington Post op-ed columnist, perhaps?"

Of all the mistakes I've made in my life, this one hurts the most. Thank you for letting me know. I can't believe I got this wrong considering how much I love that song. (Also: I didn't know what skeet meant for years and just sang it like it was normal.)

To be fair in High Fidelity he seeks to establish what went wrong in the relationships and how that reflects on him as a person

Wait a while. Colorado's stress will be declining.

I actually found it to be easier in some ways. They entertain each other (pro), but they also try to kill each other (con).

Bill Murray really is living his best, DGAF life.

I need your foreskins to make my penis-envy flesh suit.

The worst part is knowing that the "World's Greatest Aunt" mug she gave her was a total farce

Go ahead, assholes. Tell us again how "only white people and like seven Indians" care about this issue.

Someone in my 9th grade biology class asked the teacher if you could get pregnant from swallowing semen. Without missing a beat, he said "no, but it's about thirty calories."

Remember kids: When someone smiles at you, everyone who has ever smiled at them is also smiling at you.

Your story about the breaking boners question and the way the teacher handled it reminds me of a question a kid asked in my 7th grade biology class. It was near the end of the period and the teacher asked, "well, that's it for the subject matter for today. Does anyone have any questions? Anything you want to talk…

I don't waste my smiles on people I haven't fucked at least twice.

That quote about nursing babies gave me lots of anxiety. And yet. . . I mean, I love my baby, but staring at his face for 40 minutes at a time, about nine times a day, when he just. .. looks around. Well, it gets freaking boring, okay?