And now Detachable Penis will be playing in my mind all day long, goddamnit!

The absolute worst is when you’re having an OK conversation with a guy, wake up the next morning to check your inbox and he’s left you a fucking dick pic while you were sleeping. With a little text like “so what do u think ;)“

The penis is generally not an attractive body part- it is in fact much more frequently silly-looking- and amateur phone-pics will not improve the situation.

I received an unsolicited dick pic during a meeting once and had a hell of a time explaining why I shouted “JESUS! I forgot they came in pink!” during the middle of a menu planning session.

But if they can’t show their dick how else will they make up for being a total arsehole?

I found out from someone else that a white woman I dropped from my life was literally going around saying that I was her black friend. I wish I had heard about that before I deleted all her contact info because I would have gone off.

The Atlantic is covering this story but using a black “villain” who’s a “model minority” and the pure as snow white victim

Well, isn’t this a shocking comment coming from a shocking place... /s

You forgot “funded by the progenitors and proceeds of the Spanish Inquisition” and even they thought he was a maniac. They fired him at one point. When you’re so cruel and murderous that the fucking Spanish Inquisition thinks what you’re doing is morally reprehensible, you’re a total fucking monster.

Let’s see: cold, white, melts under pressure ...

Yes as long as Yoshi is not forgotten.

I see from the featured image that she has become a bit more

This was me editing this post:

Jezebel readers.

Okkk but that first tweet from Alan Spencer is exactly the hot take that Twitter was made for 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼

here’s a better fight 4 u:

The problem is that pre-rinsing dishes is inefficient, redundant, and ******* stupid. The only notable different between pre-rinsing a dish and just washing it is that with the pre-rinse no soap is used. Every other action is the same. It takes just as long, your hands and shirt get as wet, and you’re just as likely…