Christ, I’m glad you made this point, and I really wish soccer wasn’t so fucking archaic statistically. It’s the dark ages compared to baseball

“In a new circle of hell”

Ah you’re talking about the pioneering work of Dr. Naftaly Frenkel, continued by an even greater researcher, Dr. L. P. Beria

The Hertz, Avis, and Enterprise groups have all named Jason Kidd as their new spokesman

It’s not about the bottom six, it’s that there are only 2-3 decent Spanish clubs at any given time, whereas in EPL you’ll get a game out of a lot of the middle class

Bro you can’t say things like that, Messi and Ronaldo are living gods!

I wouldn’t be too quick to dismiss the athletes’ claims.

But sure, Boston mostly has problems with class!

No, it really doesn’t. Both my parents lived through the bus riots, and nothing outside of the Deep South really compares to that level of Massive Resistance

Could and would, their players simply fell off a cliff during the 1991 regular season

Man, I bet the defensive coordinator for those Giants teams must have been a real asshole!

Darkest timeline

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And then he dragged that rotting carcass home to toughen up his kids’ immune systems with a bevy of parasites

There aren’t enough lols in the universe if the cup final is Las Vegas and Tampa Bay

Shit, you think you’re smart, you follow all the sites, you read all the important news and then you find out you’ve been wrong about Jay Cutler’s nickname all along

So basically every event at the Winter Olympics is out

Can’t break the Pence Rule if the other person is a dude

“But will Mother let him?”

You can make a powerful argument that these assholes deserve the literal death penalty incomparably more than do figuratively the scholarships of often disproportionately minority and underprivileged kids (and that’s true for nearly all sports at D-1 schools, not just the big time money makers)