No. Tell mr. Pie that Uber drivers should organize or quit if their company doesn’t pay them enough. And that Uber’s sign up page says “cashless” and advertises right on its main page no tipping. And that if tipping is how Uber is going fairly compensate it’s pseudo employees they need to change their plainly stated…

That’s becuase Uber says you don’t tip. And right in the sign up page it says “cashless.” That was the whole point of Uber.

None of those jokes were original. None of them.

I’ve seen Pescatelli. Trust me. If Schumer is stealing anything from her it must be to treat insomnia.

Translation:

Let’s talk about what went wrong in your life so bad - that set the bar soooo low - that Chipotle is miraculously able to please you?

That is a rather uncharitable and simplistic interpretation.

Wrong. This is a Koch funded land grab and on public lands (this is Paiute land) and it’s happening all over the west and mountain west. The Kochs have not been able to make enough headway legally to get a hold of BLM, tribal and park lands for mining and commercial interests. They’ve been flouting federal authority…

Nope. They're terrorists.

Prediction: This paster will soon be arrested with either a kilo of meth or a the body of an underage male prostitute in the trunk his car. Likely both.

The prop gun was not defective. It was a real gun. It had recoil blanks with one squib round still stuck in the barrel from previous use.

The problem isn’t masturbation. If you insist on believing that it was... well, all I can say is good luck with the next relationship.

As a man I can guarantee you masturbation is absolutely not in competition with sex. They are different, though very related things. Yes, physical sensation can be be muted from excessive masturbation. But all it takes is a layoff of maybe a week or two.

You could not be more wrong.

I’d imagine you are in a distinct minority on this one.

Jesus.

Oh. For fucks sake. Google it, man.

Nope.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Not many black dudes in corporate boardrooms of the 1960’s.