Practiced this with a 12 pack, last beer bottle broke weird and cut my own hand. . . .

Yaya star for you!

Hitler also wrote his VERY OWN book!

I’ve heard jumping up and down is scientifically proven too...

I wonder if I swap this out tonight with the original if my two-year old will notice.

If a woman’s on top she can’t get pregnant. It’s just gravity. What goes up must come down.

If only he could convince them to abstain from shelling him.

Given his 87-97 career record and 102 ERA+, he’s not even really good at that whole ball throwing thing.

This is the greatest comment in the history of language.

Abstinence-only is the only contraception that ever worked for Matt Garza and Bristol Palin.

Tecmo greatness aside, Bo is such a nice guy that he may actually be thinking of the real defenders he trucked in college and the pros.

This whole thread needs to be in the running for comment of the year. Somebody needs to make this a thing.

The culprits:

No lie, a guy I went to high school with actually did this during a bar fight, then went to jail for attempted murder. Pretty crazy.

I was once walking home from a liquor store with a bottle of wine, when a guy approached me and demanded my wallet. I thought “Oh, I could take him,” and smashed the wine bottle against the wall of a building. He laughed... in my hand, I had nothing but a cork.

This perfectly describes PTI. I grew up in DC reading Wilbon and Kornheiser, so I loved that show for the first 5 years or so. Now whenever I watch it I just get sad- Wilbon shouting “BEAT DOWN!” multiple times an episode while Tony references how he’s too old to watch sporting events after 9:00. Still, as much as I…

Mark,

Give me a call if you want to know how it feels to finish 7th in the 2-man bobsled.

Employee #8

Mark,