Don’t you hate it when you go all the way up to your hotel room, only for the fucking key card not to work?

Sadly, that kind of subtlety has no place in today’s Deadspin. +1

Take it easy on the guy. I’ve heard he’s got a lot of personal ghosts to deal with.

Browns never made a Super Bowl either. Got to the conference championship twice. Lost on The Drive and The Fumble.

I’m sure they mean BESIDES those people.

Oh, you sound fun.

It’s obvious that someone can’t get laid.

If Ray Rice hadn’t already been washed up by that point in his career, he would’ve received a wrist-slap as well.

“Redemption and Healing”. Penn State Football 2016.

Will you take me for cruise in your muscle car?

I’ve never said this before, but, to USC: Thank you.

When ever I hear that “I believe in second chances” bullshit, all I can think is that I believe in earning second chances. They’re not given to you, they’re earned. 

Exactly, any time I hear a coach talk about a “second chance” my instant reaction is: “obviously not a second-stringer”

First, I’m fairly sure Brent Musburger is drunk.

Getting re-hired should do the trick.

Whatever your thoughts are on USC, we should all feel grateful they saved America from a wave of Penn State ‘redemption’ stories tonight

Today I have stood, where once Jefferson Davis stood, and took an oath to my people. It is very appropriate then that from this Cradle of the Confederacy, this very Heart of the Great Anglo-Saxon Southland, that today we sound the drum for freedom as have our generations of forebears before us done, time and time…

Apparently some people were very upset when I wished this man well at the next level. Let me make something perfectly clear: what he did with that young lady was brutal, uncalled for

Meh. In the previous game they trotted out the old nobody-involved-in-child-rape-is-still-at-Penn-State excuse and didn’t have to double down on it. Not sure why Musburger was so worked up.

50 years on and Musburger’s hot take game is as strong as ever.