I just switched states so I don’t have a GP :( I was going to look into sliding scale therapy? There’s some new talkspace thing, but I hate the idea of communicating remotely. I guess it would be better than nothing though

Thank you <3 It really helps to know that you’re not alone when you feel so isolated. I’m going to start practicing that technique right now. Best of luck to you too

You’re totally right. In these scenarios, I tell him that I could never be in a relationship with someone like him. Or sometimes I make him fall for me and then tell him I don’t feel a spark. They’re comforting but I know it’s probably not helpful

That’s actually really incredible that you made him understand!

So, so precious! Makes me miss my little guy. 

At some point it’s just like, screw it, who cares! I think it’s a pretty unusual scenario... I described my program and school in great detail like a dummy.

Thank you so much. Your comment, not to mention the time you took to read this, means way more than you know

I’m already kinda paranoid in general, but I just remembered that I got especially skittish because it actually happened! Prior to all this a few years ago, I had a real account and someone in my academic program responded to me on an SNS. I was dumb enough to be using my real first name too. I’m really terrible about…

Thank you <3

I will! I get anxious about doxxing myself/sounding stupid and keep making new burners, but there’s nothing quite like this space.

Thank you! I’ve been struggling with that. I shut myself down and tell myself I’m an idiot for feeling so acutely, but that kind of pattern just sabotages me in the long run and prolongs the pain. I will try to embrace them. I finally dug my journal out of my closet a couple days ago. Writing is so therapeutic but I…

So easy! I find myself still putting this guy on a pedestal and thinking that he’d be a great boyfriend to someone he actually cared about. Then I get jealous of this hypothetical girl for having such an amazing, loving guy... it’s such a dumb rabbit hole. No clueless, dithering dude is worth feeling so shitty about. P…

I want to pose a question to everyone: how do you pick yourself up after feeling like you’re a fundamentally unloveable piece of shit? I don’t know if anyone will read all the ensuing crap, so that’s the basic tldr. I desperately wish I had girlfriends. I hate men so much.