No “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” no peace.

Truly an elaborate sad-goodbye choreography.

Low bar to trip over.

Whenever I have a problem, I throw an interception,

that offense is in a Bad Place right now

This whole Twitter thread of horror authors talking to each other is great, but these two in particular are appropriate:

I love how fucking diverse the NFL is in its shittyness.

Basic high-school pitching strategy; surprisingly exportable to higher levels:

I’d probably want to drink, but I’m Ottavino.

This explanation makes some sense...

Philip Rivers does _everything_ without protection.

Orlando Arcia is the real MVP.

Oh, it’s sketchy as fuck. 

“I didn’t make the rules. Well, I kind of did. But that’s the rules.”

Deadspin needs to dig a little deeper into this guy who bought three J.P. Losman jerseys. Jesus christ

The Details Of Teddy Bridgewater’s Knee Surgery Are Gruesome

Nick took a wrong turn while walking from Greektown to Ford Field and saw more than two black people in a group, and has been traumatized ever since. He’s told his harrowing story dozens of times since, in fusion gastropubs from Auburn Hills to West Bloomfield to Northville.

Nick:

DREW OLD FRIEND I’VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER. AND A NOT INSIGNIFICANT PART OF THAT HAPPINESS IS ATTRIBUTABLE TO THE FACT THAT AFTER DECADES OF FUTILE FANDOM I JUST DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE LIONS ANYMORE