hahaha

It's becoming increasingly difficult to be alive and not feel an extreme heartache

**replaces it with "Modern Love"**

He hated that phase of his career!

Well, if it wasn't taken then, I assume that it was selected with the intention of it being him laughing the face of death.

That photo up there is exactly how I'd like to remember him

The women who would sploosh over 50 Shades probably don't use Twitter, unless they were part of the original group that was into it when it was Twilight Slashfic

I would like to call them "blowflakes," but really any insult will do.

Not if she blanks you first!

"low quality" is, like, most of the people on Twitter. This… will be a quelling. They'll be down to, like, a million users.

"Nationalizing industries so they can save your cheap ass money on advertising, marketing, and PR? Rad!"

If this works, that sound you heard was millions of women splooshing themselves in relief and gratitude

Naw, Obama stepped out of power peacefully, he didn't inherit his job, he worked hard in his life, he's smart, and he seemed to understand what the cost of human lives were.

Naw, man, let it be full of chicken feet and other Santeria stuff, like when they try to get the insulin in Con Air.

The header image made me wonder if this was a "Shaun of the Dead" comic for a sec.

… But why would Obama or Michelle let Tawny Kitaen drive their boat?

I would've LOVED that. 'bama just refusing to unlock the front door to the White House for four years. "Tours are cancelled, for the sake of the nation and the world!" could be heard from the other side of the door.

I would give my life for Mr. President Obama if he parachuted into N. Korea and personally executed Kim Jong-Un

It can be two negative attributes.

I just like to vary the deities that I exclaim to, it's good to rotate your gods every now and then.