"When I saw your name on the appointments list, I cried."

He has professionally screwed up very often. And bigly, I might add.

"Yes, Mr. Spicer, but what did your psychiatrist say?"
"Oh, he said I'm totally messed up inside, I have no problem supporting bigots and cowards, and I'm willing to defraud the American people for a little extra spending cash."

That's a really nice alternative, SC! Well done

LOL nice one

Children of a Lesser Huh?

The Incredible Whateverness of Being

He's gonna have a problem with his temporal mandibular joint, a pain which is often just called TMJ. Also, if what they say is true about undigested meat being in the intestinal tracts of American men who eat lots of red meat, I cannot imagine what swallowing a shit ton of gum is going to do to his gut.

This is like when Ingmar Bergman was making all those movies about people whose relationships have become stale and toxic and they shouldn't be together and then you realize that, holy shit, he's really just dumping his purse out right in front of the audience.

The Surferman Who Went Up a Wave And Then Came Down the Same Side of That Wave

The fact that he was ready to die just to make it end - and get a bit of his own back at the same time - is kinda depressing.

And then when Arnold Schwarzenneger rips his body in half he gets to say, "Look at King Axel!" *SNAP* "Now, broken Axel!"

Yes, as GIK points out, it's an Irish name, it's Celtic. And I love Irish women because they don't take s—t from anybody, and I very much like that approach.

Bet they listen to that cloying, pop-friendly cover of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" all the f—king time

Yes, I always pictured Melania as being more of Big Spoon person than a Little Spoon person.

And what about the poor broke-ass jerkoffs who comprised such a large part of his voting base? They paid! Think they wouldn't be pissed that he doesn't do his share, or that the implication is that they are little people?

Well, yes, Ted Cruz is most likely the shitty terminator from Terminator: Genisys. Everything around him stinks. His family must invest in nose plugs.

In America, you have Nintendo device named for domination terminology and cannot hire hookers to urinate on a bed. In Soviet Russia, WiiU!

Speaking of, yes, our current political situation does seem more representative of the offerings on a horror-only channel than of the real-life politics in one of the most powerful nations in the world.

Yes, yes. To all of us who, y'know, care about being right and s—t, poorly spelled names are sad. Like the Staties in Super Troopers thinking Ramathorn is Mexican. When he says it, he doesn't even sound mad, just bummed about it.