Restrain yourself! Or at least let me do it for you!

I mean, I owned the O'Reilly Press Koala book, so I know some of this stuff. It is actually useful information, especially for people who work on the web. That said, these are some thickass paragraphs with lots of clauses and whatnot - this only means that readers short on time are likely to skim or skip around your…

No, we were in the middle of talking about some s—t, so we were completely thrown. It was as if we weren't even speaking the same language for two seconds, we both blanked on Dern's name, and he ran off. One of his PA's walked up to us afterward and asked us to fill out a release.

Personally, the most erotic sex scene on Buffy was that the time that Willow and Giles had a moment of weakness with one another. It was the anniversary of Jenny Calendar's death, and she was dealing with some troubling new feelings in the wake of Oz leaving town.

Because Sony or Fox own the rights to Novellas, so the need Bookshots to become part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe of Books.

Some marketing asshole hopes to get reaaaally rich from this bs jargon…

Damnit, that's why Tyler and his mom never looked scared!

So you mean he's subcontracting the work to someone else and then pocketing the difference? Good for him!

I think it was kinda fucked up that they made Coolio do everybody's corn rows by hand. That's just mean

It seems like just the other day, I was lamenting this new foreigner who had come in to take up the slack from the loss of Colbert and Carell. Now he's got all that white in his hair, and he's surpassed those guys, in some ways…

he ran up to a friend and I on the street. I nearly told him to f—k off, but then I saw the camera. Amazingly, he asked my friend and I about Laura Dern and I swear to god we blanked on who she was until he had walked away.

I go by wine bottles, since I've been favored sav blancs from Australia and New Zealand for the last 8 years or so. I swear I remembered the Australian Penfold's bottle as reading "Marlborough" instead of say, Kono, which is from New Zealand.

Thank you! My brain can't do antipodean geography details while I'm working.

Yeah, because of her past I am going to wait quite a while before saying that she's come to her senses, politically or socially. I'm sure there plenty of anti-Semites who just hated the Nazis more than they hated ethnic groups…

"The film takes place in Boston, but if you're a Chicago resident" - I really had so many different endings to that sentence.

… Ted Stryper?

The competition to be crowned his heir and successor dedicates one full day to bell pepper-related activities.

Thinking of taking your son back from your ex wife, whatever either one of them wants? Well, good for you AV Club! We've got a sale on zip ties! Just like you've seen psychotic murderers use on Law & Order

Imagining the female conservative counterpoint to Tiny Tim is quite funny. And mildly erotic.

And every man who successfully instigates the mass harassment of a female celebrity shall receive $250,000 from Simon and Schuster. They will also receive a "I hope your mother lives long enough to let you know how ashamed she is" from me.