you’re literally slutshaming someone over their facial hair

Yo dog, if that’s your problem, I don’t think cargo shorts have the ability to deliver time traveling vasectomies.
OR do they? I mean, my current understanding is that cargo shorts just help you from getting laid in the future tense, not past.

I have A child (singular) and no. I while I accept a lot of uncool dad things, cargo shorts are a no go. I put my sunglasses on backwards (like any self respecting man who has lost the will to live). We refuse to let me daughter bring anything she won’t carry the entire time (and yes, this has resulted in more than a…

It’s amazing to me that people, Drew included, will say “I have to carry all this stuff! Keys, wallet, phone, etc.” What the fuck is the “etc.”? What else do you need? A pocket knife can fit in the same pocket as something else, that’s about it.

You wear body armor all the time too?

Then you better get out of Trump’s America.

I would put people who are actual tradesmen/repairmen in a different category than dad with the George Costanza wallet.

When did carrying a gun become required?

What about those of us that aren’t LGBTQ or Euro?

How about a nice set of normal shorts without two extra pockets ? They do have them at fine stores near you.

Instead of cargo shorts, because you’re no longer 15, why not a messenger bag of some kind? There are many kinds, with different price points, and you can carry a ton of stuff!

I think the only thing worse than wearing cargo shorts is the insistence that you actually use the dozen extra pockets they provide. What fucking urban explorer are you that you need pouches to traverse your daily life? I’ve never found myself in Target (where 95% of all cargo shorts in America are purchased) and…

The only place that it is acceptable for a grown man to wear shorts is at the pool or at the beach.

I was thrilled that Chase wasn’t caving into JoJo’s desperate pleas to have him comfort her somehow after dumping him, because in all honesty the dumpee gets to feel upset and doesn’t have to assure the dumper that they understand etc. and then he backtracked and came back the next day and disappointed me. How could…

These are the patriots who are going to halt the advance of tyranny? They can’t even keep their dick surrogate in check against a small child

We’re told that guns will give us “the most civil of societies.”

It’s becoming increasingly clear that Americans cannot partake of, or participate in, any type of activity in large groups as we cannot behave like normal human beings. You feel like you need to defend your movie-watching rights using a gun? Have a chat with a therapist instead about “acceptable outlets” for your…

That’s the desire of many gun owners, though, to be in a situation where they might lose - but they have a gun so they win.

I’m all for respecting other peoples sexual orientation, but I really cannot abide ammosexuals.

Sometimes you need a good guy with a gun to stop a bad guy with a child?