This is Belichick we’re talking about, so Garoppolo has a terminal illness, right?

I’m not sure I ever really went to bed. I saw a tweet that said:

Eh, don’t think of that one as a record so much as shorthand for how many late multi-RBI hits there were, i.e. a measure of momentum swings.

The unfortunate flip side to so many mashed taters is a mound visit every 5 pitches to ask why so many taters are getting mashed.

holding up at third because the Dodgers apparently don’t have clear signals for loud stadiums

It’s fine. She was dressed in a way that was inviting this to happen.

hyperbole for the effect of humor

One thing I really did like about the switch was that you could see plays open up like the QB does. It’s one thing when you see the traditional view and you don’t know what’s happening up field, but this Madden-view allowed viewers to see routes develop. Unless you’re a woman.

I haven’t tried this in a while, but here are all of Drew’s capitalized Funbag words in sequence, with punctuation added so it flows better:

Reading that someone seriously considers Harry Potter a halloween movie shook me to my core. Might be the worst serious take i’ve heard all year.

WTF, no opinion on diagonal staples? So much better, and less chance of tearing.

After being an adult for a few years nothing supernatural can scare me.

That story is why I am no longer allowed to read scary stories.

Do you remember the story about how the kid was writing a paper with headphones on and there was writing all over the house that said “LOOK AT ME”? It still haunts me and that was I think like 3 years ago.

YES. THIS IS MY FAVORITE POST OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A racist, sexist, ignoramus with early-onset dementia gets elected President of the United States.

Of course, Kyrie thought he was speaking to a reporter from the Boston Rectangle.

That’s one body part that does not tell lies, I’m told.

I used to work in newspapers in hockey country and I always dreamed one day that Alex Auld and Robert Lang would get new contracts on the same day so I could print the headline “Auld, Lang Sign”