I thought she just was reiterating “I never put my envelope down, so he’s lying if he says it was mine” which... true. She’s been photographed holding her award and envelope following her win. No one knew about the 2 envelopes thing.

“Memorial Day is not really ambiguous. Memorial = someone or some people died.”

Winning “Double Dare” or “GUTS” would have been the tops, I’d have been rolling in some fuckin’ sweet LA Gear shoes for the duration of my adolescence (which, coincidentally would have made me a little shit)

MTV’s the Challenge is the best reality show to win. Or Survivor.

Everyone is just so, like, authentic in Winston-Salem

Matt Purke looks like he only plays baseball ironically. Sort of like he wants to go back to the minors because nobody’s heard of the team he was playing on.

Also, shout out to Alison Williams’ performance. Even when we saw the old photos, I assumed she was getting hypnotized to have all of her past interests wiped from her memory right up until the bit with the keys. And she made a great determined psychopath at the end, would like to see her in more roles like that.

“The grandpa sprints around like a maniac at night because he never got over Jesse Owens beating him in the Olympic qualifiers.”

He tried to defuse an awkward situation with some levity. I think he handled it fine considering it was something unprecedented and almost impossible to imagine happening. His joke didn’t land very well, but you’re acting downright offended by it.

I still haven’t gotten over “Shakespeare in Love” winning best picture over “Saving Private Ryan”.

Ahh, spring. The flowers begin to bloom, the birds start to chirp, and massive dongs fly through the air.

I’m ok with Martin Sheen, but draw the line at Bill Pullman.

“I’m a stay-at-home model, and Mark works part time at a local kombucha brewery. Our budget is $1.2 million.”

I don’t have this problem, but I want to live vicariously through you by killing myself

Aw man, I just went to Iceland. My fiancée went there about 5 years ago and loved it; she wanted to take me, and that’s where I proposed.

You can almost feel the absence of melanin oozing from this article.

Mentos does make a gum, but the phrasing there is awful.

To cover up the fact that they changed his lines in post, obviously!

Some valid criticisms, some dumb (e.g., British voice was actually that of non-verbal autistic master hacker who baby Ben Affleck met at the childhood therapy place; no, no one would be surprised at someone shooting a Barrett .50 cal a mile - that is literally what they are designed for - it was more unbelievable that…

I was making fun of the concept from the first time I saw a commerical for it, but after seeing it last week I was surprised that it’s actually pretty good!