Fuck the giants.

has Jerry Jones offered him a job yet?

Miami fans make Seahawks fans look like knowledgeable football experts

I lived in Miami for 4 years and it was honestly the worst thing to ever happen to me

This. My palate has changed a ton since I was a kid, I love trying new foods and going to all those new foofy restaurants named after inanimate objects but man oh man a good ol’ box of Annie’s (I’ve graduated to the organic shit at least) is still easily my favorite dinner.

Mistaking the jersey for a lightning jersey is pretty great.

Is this common knowledge that you’re quoting/making fun of Bill Simmons? Or should I shame myself that I read and reread Bill Simmons so frequently that I instantly recognized this as Bill Simmons?

Talent.

Your wife is correct. Kitchen scissors, baby.

THANK YOU! I thought I was the only one that did this. My roommates have finally accepted my straight embargo on any wicker trashcans in my apartment.

The 2003 ALCS, and more specifically, the Aaron Boone homerun. I think I learned how to swear from my dad cussing out Grady Little that night.

If you’ve never picked your teeth with the straw from your lunchtime beverage, you’re doing it wrong.

I actually disagree with this. Jerseys are fucking expensive, man. I’m not shelling out another $100 because my asshole GM traded my favorite player