I hope you two can work it out. Sexual incompatibility isn't a deal breaker for everyone, but it does't make anyone bad if it is. He is not bad if he decides he needs sex to be happy in a relationship, and you are not bad if you decide that his need is something you cannot cope with. I hope the two of you can find a…

It doesn't have to be the 'only thing' to be a deal breaker. I know I could not be satisfied with an asexual romantic relationship. If we are going to be together seriously and consider a future I need to know that sex is a part of that future. It's really insulting to assume that sex is "the only thing keeping…

I don't understand what you think is going to happen to these non-adult viewers of Jezebel. "They may prescribe themselves to a methodology"... of awareness that their bodies are their own and that efforts to tell them what to do with those bodies by outsiders are sexist and harmful? That sounds good to me, wish I had…

Ha! Yes.

You're absolutely right, that is how others see it but not how I do, I'll edit for clarity.

The comments on *this site* would not be different, one of your other commenters posted some links that illustrate that, but in the world in general, you are probably right. My dad works with a boy who at 14 was assaulted by his father and his 40 yr old girlfriend, and the other students at school bully him over it…

Nice work on that hug. I can't think of a better way to type a hug! (((((((HUG))))))) And thank you, this conversation has been helpful, I hope you feel the same way. I am also glad you exist on this planet, and glad you exist on Jez so we could find each other. <3

We are kicking you out if you think we shouldn't have the option to terminate an unwanted pregnancy. We can and we are. Obviously the goal is to make things better so we don't need to have abortions, as Bill Clinton said, "safe, legal, and rare". But as long as women are able to get pregnant when they do not want to…

http://www.mencanstoprape.org/ check these guys out, it always makes me feel a little better.

This is why we have to keep talking about it! I feel ya on losing days. I remember last year my rapist tried to friend me on facebook and I lost a week to rages and sadness all over again. Something can be behind you one day and right there at the front of your mind the next. But at least we can talk here. You don't…

"Now, my relationships are affected in the sense that I experience panic any time I feel like I'm being misunderstood / dismissed / disbelieved / coerced... and I have a much shorter fuse and lower coping abilities than I otherwise would have had."

Thank you. That time the actual rape was aborted, but these things are too common and when I was 19 my scream was not so effective. "I don't want this" forced him to acknowledge that he was forcing me and I believe that is why he stopped and ran off. The trick is getting people around you to acknowledge that.

I could use a hug. I feel like in this case the retributive theory of justice is necessary. Yes, they were 16 and some crimes by minors are youthful indiscretion that should be punished and then excused but this, like the case in india, was more than that. If these boys are allowed to go around free after they were…

I subscribe to the retributive notion of justice in this case. I don't care if they can be rehabilitated, they don't deserve it. Take them out of society, that is it for them. done.

Yep. You said it all. That girl will never be the same and these boys should not see the free world again. If I were in her shoes or knew any one of these kids it would be really hard to resist the urge for revenge of the vigilante style. As a woman who has experienced rape I must say that what they did to this girl…

Thank you too! This discussion was heartening. I want so badly to believe that things can change, and people like you are proof that they not only can, but will (someday).

No, but he did have a pretty serious mustache situation going on, but with white hair and a bald head.

This happened with me and my 3rd grade teacher, he told us the same thing and then I remember my mother explaining that my relationship with my teacher is a professional relationship and that I cannot hug him anymore because you do not hug people with whom you are engaged in a professional relationship. I remember…

I am still in touch with many of my HS teachers and not strictly because my father is a teacher where I went to HS. The last time I was visiting home I ran into my former elementary school teacher in a bar and he bought me a shot for giving up my table so his group could all sit together. Nothing weird, just one adult…

Don't feel bad for asking, I am glad you did. Like they say, 'silence hides violence' and that is the truth. I think it's wonderful that you can see the differences in the things that women have to worry about because they are women. Every man who can see that is one more man who might help to de-normalize the kinds…