Time to bust out my favorite law again: Wisc. Stat. § 101.58(2)(j)2.

“You got more catches than Tom does.” SAVAGE.

The Eagles have a longer cut.

Drew’s skin tone looks like there’s an Instagram filter named “Belly of a Frog” constantly being applied.

Magary is whiter than the ghost of Christmas. What the fuck man. Do you live under the banister and only come out at night?

+1 you’re not my real dad!

Twice I have found myself in the position of dating someone fresh off a divorce. I was in the enviable position of just having to be better in comparison. A lot wasn’t required of me. Typically, when dating a single woman you have to be better than all the rest of the guys. When dating a recent divorcee, you truly…

Big Dick Nick & Chill Little Lil

She crawled, but as a sign of respect.

I have objections to a trash can that needs to be plugged in. I also object to a trash can so customized that I have to buy special bags. The latter is the deal breaker.

I have objections to a trash can that needs to be plugged in. I also object to a trash can so customized that I have…

Some other kids are just annoying pissants.

Checks off all of the usual characteristics but did she stand for the national anthem?

Whether she can maintain that poise rests in part on whether she can get through adolescence without learning that, at one point in time, tens of thousands of Internet people (to estimate conservatively) imagined her father (who will probably be a pastor by then) to be in possession of a tremendous wang.

Some babies are just good, you can take them anywhere and they sleep when you put them down and they giggle all the time and when dad has to grab the Lombardi trophy you can hand them off to their boss without worrying if they’ll thrown a scream fit. Clearly this is one of those babies.

Sports Baby Stare Down!

I’d like to think that I showed poise last night by not destroying anything and passing out in the hallway of Monk’s Cafe (don’t worry, it wasn’t open).

Looks like Lallana sucked down some riot punch and celebrated the Philly SB win for his döppelganger, Dan McQuade.

If that kid didn’t want to get the business, he should have stayed around back of Lallana.

Going from the best hair in England to the worst in a year’s time takes a toll on a man.

He gets the party Startered.