Hello, my name is Doctor Bill, and I...I...

I’ll bet you could solder them together.

Still not close enough :(

I actually have no idea, I just found it on Google. Here’s one where you’d only need five friends:

Came for the “Book It” reference. Am not disappoint. I wore my pin with little puffy star-shaped stickers on it with PRIDE. I have like a Pavlovian association between reading books and pizza now.

I’m not big on gold chains and pendants, but this intrigues me. Is there one where the pizza is whole? I do not have 7 friends.

“It really reminds me of how much I love racist caricatures doing dumb shit literally all the time.”

Whoa, this pizza video sounds awesome!

A new contender:

Giri gave Pizza Hut a high intangible score because of its association with The Phantom Menace? Ladies and gentlemen, history’s greatest monster.

Man, back when I delivered for them in college (about 2 different “No, we used to be trash, but we’re good now” ad campaigns ago) pan pizza was this weird miniature mattress that the truck would drop off, and thin crust was a pre made soft tortilla thing. You were much better off getting the regular hand tossed.

You’re doing pizza taste tests? What’s tomorrow, “Ten Celebrities Who Are Total Potato-Sacks”? I come here because it’s not Barstool, I don’t want its woke reboot.

“We’ll happily edit three hours down to nine minutes, but those of you who’d like a transcript can kindly fuck off.”

I just skip to about 2/3rds of the way through to skip all the bullshit and oral. Like, thanks film crew but I’m just here for the hardcore fucking.

Your mouths are wrong. What a fucking catastrophe

Only a fool goes with the traditional hand tossed pizza at Domino’s. It’s gotta be either the handmade pan or the thin crust.

I mean, no offense, but if I see a 9-minute *porn* clip I’m like “nah, too long.” Nine minutes of pizza-eating-and-ranking video is about 8:57 too long.

Pivot to video!

Comeon, don’t make me watch the stupid video, just give me the results so I can tell you how wrong you all are.

Wait, is Nick Martin a Tom Ley doppelganger?? I’m seriously confused.