And how appropriate, given Indycar’s financial struggles, that the winning driver has to be towed into the circle.

Jack Handey? Is that you?

Sadly, this is very true.

Not my Cards. I’m a Royals fan, and have little use for the Cardinals.

18 losses of Kristin Cavallari. How f*cking novel.

Wow. This series is like 500 Days of Kristin, but less creative.

This this this. I thought I might be the only one who sees what a smegma ball “Dr” Drew is.

Then enjoy digging out those old VHS tapes and kick back with some NBA on NBC. No need to see history unfolding live before our eyes when you can watch Mars Blackmon commercials.

I’m more troubled by King’s lazy simile and overuse of adverbs and adjectives. Wish he’d learned from JJ Watt’s dedication and read Strunk & White.

“The problem is that that YouTubers often have millions of ‘friends,’ which means that things can easily spin out of control.”

So you know of this device, yes?

“US WEEKLY for Bros”.

Okay Trump. Go work on that wall.

Make me, not gonna, and other fifth-grade level responses in kind to your equally insightful retort. Or as the much greater Lauryn Hill said, after all my logic and my theory I add a motherfucker so you ig’nant n*ggas hear me.

Dear Deadspin,

Really? Because I’m a Royals fan, and thus have no love for the Cardinals, yet this is the biggest driver of deadspin’s shtick wearing on me.

No. It doesn’t. Just because it discusses one side of the issue doesn’t mean it invalidates the other side.

“Thanks for the compliments, and to be fair to me it’s even better than you said.”

Responding to understandable anger with pedantic sarcasm seems entirely fuckstick-ish. Great comment.

Since it’s a state highway, if the Aston had fallen in would your warranty have covered the repairs?