This is true. Take me for example: I believe that one day I will marry Rihanna. We all know Rihanna won't be constrained but such pithy patriarchal structures as "marriage," because why would she be married when she can be empress, but a boy can dream.

I always kind of figured that Halloween costumers were the IRL version of Rule 34: if you can think of it, there is probably a scandalous Halloween costume about it.

"Bikini season," eck. I've learned the hard way that health and fitness aren't "seasonal" anyway: if you eat like crap during the winter, "bikini season" is going to suck no matter what.

"Deploys at 15 to 30 mph."

Damn it, I swear I had something for this.

Just us actual sugar. Instead of HFCS.

Yah, I'm wondering the same thing. Either this an ad, or like you said, its "a teenage girl's tumblr post."

Hell, I've wondered if people actually bought into it in the first place. Lots of the douchiest guys I knew in high school were the hot topic wearing, alt-music listening bros, and lots of them went on to become the bespectacled, tweed wearing douche's I knew in college.

We had a writer from Jezebel just leave to write for Vice.

It all depends on how you drive. My parents neighbor pulls a Nitro Z9 CDC with his: I've been with him when we verified 15 mpg highway. But, he only drove 55-60mph, with rare jumps beyond 60 when passing.

Wait was this an actual thing? Ivy and Harley together?

There is that. I mean its hard to be married to someone who just didn't want to be married to you.

I know, right? Whatever went right on this project (management wise) needs to be studied and applied to every other project IMMEDIATELY.

I'm torn on this. On one hand, McConaughey has come a long way since he was the made for hollywood rom com guy. On the other, I feel... I dunno. I've seen this before? I mean I don't actually think I have, but its like I understand the plot by now.

Don't be sorry. We all thank you for it.

I think we are in this together now. We should fill out writers guild cards and start a treatment. I guess now we just need someone to write the action scenes (its Batman, there will unfortunately have to be action scenes).

Hell, this part:

I think you just found the loop hole. Yes, you have to deal with all the brooding darkness, but whats worse? Your SOs brooding darkness, or his inlaws?

Oh my god, that may actually be worse than Hulk. You can deal with anger, and technically you can flee the planet if you have to. But how can you trust someone who knows that despite their protestations, you still vacuum up and down instead of in a grid, because they can't tell the difference otherwise?!

I would still take the manual.