Yes! Like the Uber of doctors, meh sure. I baerly even know my current doctor thatt I’m sure my insurance won’t cover in two years forcing me to someone else anyway. My hairsylist? I’ll follow them across country! No really, my lady moved to NC from OR. I’m devastated and ata complete loss of how to find someone who…

Not a guarantee but not much in life is. However, it’s a pretty fair shot. 2/3 of adults name one of their siblings as their best friend.

Basically if there is ever any question as why women do or do not do some “thing” that men do or do not do the answer is always “It’s the patriarchy, stupid”

And now everyone knows you are not an ally. Gold Star!

In other news... water is in fact wet.

Oh man, you are going a whole lot further than me on this. I’m middle America 30 something woman with 6 kids. I barely have time to brush my own teeth let alone be the vigilante dude whisperer. My approach is different than yours. I think of it as driving the change in culture. Culture doesn’t change without the…

I’m glad you are abetter person than me. Gold star!

Or maybe I have a lower threshold of what I think is awful? My brother is a hulking dude. He is 6'7" and over 300lbs. He’s also pretty much the most socially awkward and conflict/violence avoidant people I know. Yet, I’ve seen him use his size in a way that is intimidating. I straight up told him that he needs to…

I also want to be clear I said “more of the onus” not all of. That doesn’t mean I don’t hold men accountable. When women themselves are uncomfortable calling rape, rape because of all the bullshit we get fed by culture. I think there has to be room for you didn’t get it, I’m schooling you, now change your behavior.

I was responding to the comments about Amy cutting AA off, distancing herself from him, ending their friendship, etc. My entire first comment on this thread was about what Amy and those who, like her, are acquainted with men who have done shit.

I’m not only referring to the famous people. I’m referring to people I know in my life. Most guys I know have done some borderline bullshit in their intimate relationships. And yes, some of them have had their shit called out and adjusted their behavior. Would that have happened if instead of calling them out I cut…

I live in a differnt world than you, obviously. Pretty much every man that I don’t have a long history with is a potentially violent attacker. I have no way of knowing whether me exerting “my rights” will get me killed or not. Judging by the prevalence of threats from random guys via dating platforms I am inclined to…

You are just factually wrong. “Soft nos” have given plenty of women the ability to delay and avoid violence. For every story where the ultimate outcome was violence or sexual assualt is another where the “maybe next time” gave them just enough space to leave or the “not yet” gave them the time for their ride to show…

So exactly what I said... cool? I think we are in passionate agreement here. Maybe I just know exceptionally shitty men but I don’t think I know a single guy who hasn’t done something at least problematic in their intimate relationships (not specifically with me, in general). If I got rid of all guys in my life that…

Actually no, not about attack us. We are talking about Amy here, not Grace. Amy was not assaulted by AA. This is about what Amy should do. She has been told she should end her friendship and cut him off or whatever. I’m suggesting there is another path, one that hopefully leads to more men understanding how their…

“Teaching” them about non-verbal cues (I say that in quotes because I don’t really think they need to be taught, they need to actually accept non-verbal cues as the same thing as verbal ones) puts the onus on them to stop. They can stop and ask before proceeding, or they can just full out stop when the non-verbal…

Where did I say inappropriate behavior doesn’t need to be called out? I’m not talking about the victims on the receiving end. I’m talking about what friends, family, associates, etc of the perpetrators should be doing. “dude, you are being a fucking creep” is probably going to be met with defensiveness. Hell I get…

Are you being obviously dense? I’m talking about the mainfestos of “women are changing the rules”. I’m talking about the discrediting character attempts. I mean the range of pat reactions that men have of being accused of doing something untoward.  Both Ansari’s own and the general expected reaction of a woman coming…

No, I’m saying that not saying “no” forcefully is often a delay tactic and self preservation. Guys not looking to assault should get affirmative consent. Women looking not to get killed should do whatever they have to do to stay safe even if it means softening their refusals.

Uh, I didn’t say that the victim needed to accept it. I actually am 100% of the idea that no victim has any responsibility to forgive or have contact with the perpetrator. Same as with other person-to-person crimes.