That’s what bread is for!

I haven’t tried this in a while, but here are all of Drew’s capitalized Funbag words in sequence, with punctuation added so it flows better:

Are you kidding me? Vader wins because Godzilla is too big? This argument was defeated in 1980:

“Ever turn on the bath without realizing it’s actually in Shower Mode?”

The wizards in Harry Potter probably celebrate Christmas because they are Christian or at least exist in a Christian culture. JKRowling is a fairly devout Presbyterian and she has stated the reason that religion wasn’t mentioned in the books is that they are a bit of a Christian allegory and she felt religious…

Dude just get some bread to soak up any leftover sauce. Drinking it is just flat out wrong.

I’m #TeamHorizontal all the way. When the office copier collates and staples documents, it staples the horizontally. You gonna go against the copier? I think not.

That’s what I’m talking about!

Re Carson: I have the same setup, and when I’m done with my shower, I need to turn my middle knob halfway because my apartment is old, and that’s the only way all the water will drain out from the “shower” pipe. If I don’t, my faucet drips incessantly. I thought I had a water leak. If I turn full on/off, the water…

#TeamDiagonal

Take the gig, be super professional and treat the technical folks and the tour manager respectfully, and you get on The List. Somebody needs a drummer they’re gonna ask around and maybe your name comes up. Nobody who matters judges a working musician for playing for a paycheck.

Reading that someone seriously considers Harry Potter a halloween movie shook me to my core. Might be the worst serious take i’ve heard all year.

-Start shaving with sideburns and neck, moving from left to right. I do mustache last. (NOTE THIS DOES NOT INCLUDE SHAVING MY HEAD WHICH I USE AN ELECTRIC RAZER FOR AND WHICH IS MUCH MORE ANNOYING)

WTF, no opinion on diagonal staples? So much better, and less chance of tearing.

Where Do You Start Shaving Your Face First?

It will not open up any doors for you career-wise because who gives a shit that you toured with Limp Bizkit? But you have a chance, after all these years, to finally make it big. Do you take the gig?

Time for yet another update:

I don’t understand how this was able to happen. I used to be in fabrication. I would personally do hardness tests on the material. We know that the supplier screws up, or tries to fuck you by passing along out of spec stock as good, and we also know our purchaser screws up, trying to save a buck usually, or buying the…

That’s the response of a man who watched his HOF quarterback go down and knows that the media narrative of him being a good head coach is about to be exposed as a total fraud.

We’re at the Dark Comedy stage, at this point. They’ll sign a crippled infant before they sign Kaep.