Missing from his essay on biological determinism...

Different strokes for different folks. We just have to figure out a way that couples can be equitable without literally splitting the chores equally, and raise our daughters/sons to know those are our personal choices, but they can arrange the labor in their relationships however they want.

There is a chicken and egg problem here. Because of the gender socialization around procuring family goods, many women like to be responsible for those things. As feminist as my wife is, no way would she want me picking out my daughters clothes from Carters. Sometimes she will let me choose between two options she has…

Someone is a little obsessed, spam-replying everyone on a super old thread. Maybe it’s you that has the issues?

The struggle is real. And it self-perpetuates. We did pretty good until pre-school when my daughter was infected with an all-pink preference. Also, no shorts, only skits. Cause apparently those are only for boys. Ugh.

Eh, it’s still a great game. I built a table from scratch and got some decent chips and cards. I have a group of 8 that plays about 2-6 times a year. It’s always a good time, and an excuse for old friends that are now busy 30-somethings to spend quality time together over a good game of cards.

While I think sometimes a vocal minority of trans people are overly insistent on inclusive language, I also don’t see references to gestational motherhood being under any real threat. That’s a bit like a “Happy Holidays/War on Christmas” non-issue. Just ask any infertile, adoptive mother or women who choose not to…

We talk about gender all the time. Often implicitly and through assumptions. It’s hard to notice it when your existence doesn’t grate against societies assumptions.

Pregnant man is appropriate. It may be a newish phrase, but it will not implode space and time to say those things together. :) However, depending on context you might want to say a pregnant transgender man. The Bay Area people would get the former, but a lot of places, the latter gives some context.

Yeah, I guess that’s my point. Most transmen, in addition to not being cisgender women, have biological functioning outside the normal range of female because of medical transition. Many of the needs will be the same, but some will be different. They are not the typical gestating client, but they can gestate babies…

The point is nobody wants to be erased. Transmen can have children. In my opinion, most transmen are used to the world not having a red carpet rolled out for their particular biological situation. I don’t think people should bend over backwards for things that may be more theory than practice for them. At the same…

If it’s single occupancy, why put any gender designation on it? If it’s multi-stall, then it’s not just the transman that is uncomfortable. Not many women are comfortable with people that look like biological males walking into the women’s bathroom. I agree that in a small town, having your bathroom situation be the…

Totally true. Dads is as Dads do. Now and then I enjoy suiting up in Dadcore and semi-competently taking care of my child for a few hours alone and getting praised for it by strangers. However, I’m relieved most of the time people ask me about my opinion/life/work as me, and not as Dad. There are no “Daddy” wars.…

A good default is their current name/pronoun unless they specify otherwise. Past stories can be difficult, even if their current name/pronoun when talking in present tense comes natural. I was considered a extreme tomboy when I was a child, so for me telling stories to my daughter about when I was a little boy sound…

I read your lengthier reply. I do hope that the concept of gender broadens and becomes less confining. Down with the patriarchy. I’m all for that. However, for a sizable minority of transgender people (and my personal experience), there is a strong incongruence with the body, not just assigned or perceived gender…

My 24 year old spin instructor fell in love with another woman who was around 27. She talked about how when they were ready to have kids they wanted to do IVF and each carry each other’s egg. In my head I was like “OH GOOD LORD that is not financially feasible nor physically/emotionally desirable!” However, knowing…

First off, best of luck with that! I simultaneously hope you have a ton of mature eggs and that it doesn’t feel like you are bloated with giant two grapefruits.

I think this is what we are all saying, that the risk and odds need to be clearly communicated. Also, just the trauma of going through fertility treatments while suffering from infertility. People don’t realize it’s a thing. Some therapists, like ours, say it can be a PTSD-inducing event.

I’m sorry to hear about your experiences. That really sucks.

This is a common minor complaint heard by people that use sperm/egg donor. Aside from it being of fairly minimal importance, it also ignores that cheating is a human thing, and the incorrect paternity attribution rate, while small (~2%), is not insignificant. That’s about a 30% chance any particular person’s tree is…